I wrote a McDonald's rage blog several weeks back. Here is the link:

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/user/blog//view=919683/

That was one of my visits. My tale today took place at a McDonald's about a year or so ago. I was on my way somewhere with BabyMomma and my son. It was morning and we were stopping for a bite. I ordered a Sausage McMuffin with egg. Usually they fuck up and do not put an egg on my McMuffin "with egg" even though the receipt confirms I ordered egg. They didn't forget the egg this time but as Miss. English-as-a-Second-Language (ESL) handed BabyMomma the bag of food I asked if I could get some salsa for my McMuffin.

"Es en da bag." She said.

"Salsa?" I asked, knowing that if they don't even put ketchup in an order of fries they sure as HELL wouldn't dole out unsolicited salsa.

"Es en da bag." She repeated.

"Salsa. Theres SALSA in the bag?"

"Es en da bag." She insisted as BabyMomma began to look for the salsa.

I told her not to bother but to drive to the front of the store as I was in one of my ugdork-is-about-to-overreact-to-a-trivial-situations-and-make-a-jackass-out-of-himself moods. As the van idled, I searched the bag and of course did NOT find any salsa or anything that might even SOUND like salsa to ESL. 

I walked around, back through the drive-thru, hand out like a traffic cop to stop the next car that was pulling up and banged on the window. ESL nervously slid it open and I said, 'I asked you 3 fucking tImes if there was any fucking salsa in the  order and 3 fucking times you said it was in the bag. There's no fucking salsa in the bag!"

This drew the attention of the manager (and that of a few customers and employees) who wanted to know what the problem was. I repeated the story and actually managed to insert a couple ADDITIONAL F-bombs. As she was handing me my salsa she said, "Sir, I'll give you some salsa but next time--"

"Next time," I interrupted, "Hire someone who fucking speaks English." I said as I walked away triumphiantly.

In the car I looked at BabyMomma and wondered aloud if I would log on to YouTube or eBaums one day and see a post reading, "(Video) McDONALD"S FREAKOUT: Some jackass flips out at a McDonald's."