All rise for Judge Ryan - all parties in the matter of Neko v. eBaum's World, step forward.
Mostly every eBaum's World blogger (pictured above) NOT named Neko or associated with Neko's multiple accounts is suing Ms. Neko, a proclaimed "talented" and "coherent" blogger who wishes to annihilate and "Neko punch" every troll in the eBaum's World blog section. The bloggers claim that Neko is self centered, childish, is actually a man, and wishes to stir drama with just about everyone to further bolster her/his ego.
Ms. Neko (pictured above in her self portrait) is countersuing the eBaum's World blogging committee, claiming that she has been harassed daily by a bunch of pestering Internet bullies, who want Neko gone because she's intelligent, beautiful, and can speak Asian very well (because Asian is a language, look it up in Neko's Book of Knowledge). Neko just wishes to blog but the naysayers, who have an average IQ of two and a half, cannot cope with someone with an exemplary mindset.
Without question, as your superior and all knowing judge, I shall award the victory to Ms. Neko, mainly due to her enjoyably awesome blogs and her ability to Neko Punch the competition. Ms. Neko is an intelligent and altruistic goddess (pay attention, she's NOT a human) who only wishes to add spice to the rather humdrum blog section. Without Neko, there wouldn't be an AndrewRyan, a Dawnthief, or a Gyps. Look deep inside your soul: you are Neko. Neko is all of us, whether you would like to accept the truth or not.
As you can clearly see, my fellow plebeians, Neko IS us - don't you get it? We all are Neko and this realization surely hasn't enveloped all of us just yet - I have accepted my responsibility in perpetuating the Neko. Neko is PepperPeanut, Neko is Macdreidel ... heck, Neko is even Mr. Bauman himself! The notorious "Neko Punch" essentially alludes to the strength and willpower that Neko displays through every blog ... that's why Neko is normally referred to as being a man AND a girl. One moment, somebody upholds the Neko as a male and the next as a female. Get it? Good.
That being said, I shall award Neko one million eBones and complete control of the eBaum's World website. If you cannot afford to pay Neko your piece of the sum, you will be taxed for every blog and blog comment you write from this day forward. CASE CLOSED.