I am 26 years old and I have found myself in a situation that is completely foreign to me: I live alone. I have always lived with family, some sort of roommate, and for the past 8 years, my ex husband. When my kids are not here, I am all by myself in this big house. It gets lonely. It gets boring. My cell phone bill is outrageous. I have found that I really hate it for the most part. I am such a sentimental schmuck that I wind up sleeping on the couch most nights just because the back of the it almost reminds me of a lover's chest and I snuggle into it. BUT, like a good little optimist, I have decided to make the best of it. I gave it some serious consideration and decided that there ARE some upsides to living alone.
1. This morning I choked on a dried mango and had to reach my fingers down my throat to retrieve it. After that fit of gagging and panicking, I took a sip of coffee which I also choked on until it squirted out my nose. Since I live alone, no one laughed at my ridiculous fit of coughing and sputtering and cursing. YAY!!!!
2. I have actually watched movies. I never have the time or desire to do this when I have people around me. I focus my energy on conversations and interactions with the folks I live with, so this is sort of a big deal. I am no longer the only person in the world who has never seen Interview with a Vampire.
3. I am getting to know my pretty little home town. When the silence in my house starts to give me a headache, I walk around Marietta. It's such a postcard town. I am on a first name basis with all of the ducks on the banks of the Ohio, the local headshop proprietor, and the guy whose heavy accent changes daily in the little coffee shop downtown. I can't say that I'm in love with this town, but I do have a bit of a crush.
4. I just plain don't have to towel up if I don't feel like it.
5. I made steak and eggs for breakfast and no one ate it because my back was turned. I was able to discover that I do not care for steak and eggs together.
6. No one bitches at me for a hour in the tub or staying up until 3 every night or blasting the soundtrack to Dazed and Confused or, well......anything. I can do all the little things that are deemed inconsiderate when you live with someone.
7. I now have a full fledged, raging addiction to jalapenos. Everyone I have ever lived with was intolerant of spicy food in some manner. I am burning the hell out of my taste buds and I love it.
8. I have time to think. I have time to breathe. I don't feel like I have a million things to do all pressed into a tiny 24 hour day (at least when my kids aren't here). For the first time in my life, I might actually figure out what makes me happy.
9. I have no one to blame or thank for the way my day goes. This seems like a downside, but it's truly refreshing. It's given me a whole new perspective on my perspective.
10. The loneliness makes me appreciate the few people stupid enough to think that I'm still worthwhile.
It's strange, but after writing these bittersweet reasoning processes out, I can actually say that living alone is not so bad. God bless blogging.
I'm Sheza and I'm nourished by my loneliness and jalapeno poppers.