Rochelle, Rochelle

   Tonight I got to do something very cathartic, but very nerve racking.  I got to speak about my journey from Milan to Minsk (Seinfeld, anyone?).  No, actually it was about my journey from childhood, into the depths of insanity, and back to my current path of recovery.  I got asked to give this lead about a month ago.  I have had plenty of time to think about it.  Or should I say stress about it.    

   I was very grateful that I was asked to give my lead.  However, I really feel I need to do a lot more listening and less talking about recovery.  I only have 11 months of sobriety.  Looking out over an audience of 50 people, a lot of them with 20+ years of sobriety, was a tad intimidating.  I began talking and the words just came out.  I had no idea where I was headed, but 30 minutes later I got there.  Everyone congratulated me and said I did a wonderful job.  My insecurities told me they were being nice.  One older lady gave me a kiss on the cheek and thanked me repeatedly.  Maybe I did OK.  Either way, I feel much more serene at the moment and I feel better for having shared my story.  

   What did I learn from this experience?  I learned that no matter how empty you may feel, how broken you think you are, or how little you think you know; stepping out of yourself and doing something uncomfortable can be beneficial.  If I said something that helped one person tonight, that is just a bonus.  It helped my journey continue in a positive direction.  I am grateful.

Uploaded 07/18/2010
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