I've started a blog with this title three times and not followed through with it. I've mentioned that there are some crazy things going on in my marriage. We went from the verge of divorce to crazy for each other in the space of two weeks.
"Yeah, you're probably right. I think you might do dishes more often than I do. I also almost always drive the nice car too. So we should get divorced. Let's do it. That's a perfectly good reason to break up an 18 year marriage. Let's DO IT! LET'S DO IT RIGHT NOW!"
Less than a week later we're totally committed to each other's happiness. I'm Marry Poppins, dancing around with penguins in bow ties happy.
Yep, that's me. I have to wear my pants like that because my dick is hanging so low. The look on my face might seem silly, but you'd look like that too if when you ejaculated nothing came out but a breeze. My urethra just kind of yawns now.
In the last couple of weeks, I've had several legitimate Penthouse Forum moments. "I always thought these letters were fake, until it happened to me..." Don't they all start out that way? I've started writing about a couple, as I noted above, but they were too much. I'll tell one though just for the singular event that was involved. This event is so rare, that you'd just as likely take a picture of bigfoot, while you're drowning in a bathtub, at the same time as being struck by lightening as experience it yourself.
My wife and I have started to have "sexytime" with a couple that my wife used to work with. He's a few years older than us. She's a few years younger.
He's a big guy, about my size, just over 6' and around 200 pounds. He's got some chest hair (Italian) where I'm smooth (Irish). He's got neatly trimmed facial hair where I look like Shaggy from Scoobey Doo if I try to grow a beard. It's not like we've held our dicks up to each other and dicks are often inside somebody when they're out lately, but you can tell he's got nothing to be embarrassed about. I tell anybody who asks that my dick looks like a baby's arm holding an apple, but it's honestly not freakish. I hit bottom in a lot of positions while having sex. If I was any longer, I'd be concerned about lack of variation. I think it offers me a good balance between size and versitility. Fortunately, I have a wife who doesn't mind if I pound her cervix. Some women don't like it. For my wife, it's almost a prerequisite.
My wife is 5'3", long dark hair, on the big side of a C cup with nipples that still point a little upward in that perky, early twenties way. When we go to Red Rooster, she wears a loose blouse with no bra and COMPLETELY makes it work. She's not thin, but curvey. Woman shaped. She's not flabby nor does she have a dimpled ass. She has, to me, a perfect bust:waist:hip ratio.
Oops... it's business time. I'll finish the blog in a bit. I don't want to make this resident on my PC, so I post it incompletely now and finish later. Honestly, this isn't a ploy to increase anticipation. Back. Sorry about that. A while ago, my wife's legs were vibrating like guitar strings. But I digress.
My wife's friend is taller than she is. Maybe 5'7". She has smaller breasts, but they're still nice. She's got short red/brown hair. Despite being a runner, she has large legs. I'm not saying she's fat, she's not. But for somebody who runs daily, she has thick thighs and ample ass. It turns out, most of that is muscle.
They're not married. They're both divorced from other people and have been dating for a long time. She kind of had a "friend with benefits" when they started dating and he sometimes hooked up with his ex, so they weren't exactly monogamous. She dumped her friend and he stopped hooking up with his wife, so my wife and I sort of stepped into those roles.
We don't exactly swap. I don't think I'd be cool with watching the kids while she went over to their apartment alone. We started off by having sex in the same room. I've never been inhibited. I've also just lost an ass-ton of weight and have been working out. I look great. My wife took my lead and has rapidly catching up with me. Neither one of us is shy. We both look great. The other couple looks great too. It's pretty sexy.
Now we kind of share foreplay. I'll make out with my wife, start petting, after a while we'll switch. We haven't actually gone as far as penetration with each other's parteners, but it's gotten pretty steamy. Nobody's called an "out of bounds" about it. But when it comes time to actually finish, we go back to our original partners. There's been a lot of cross groping, cross kissing, and even oral.
The girls don't mess around much. They mostly concentrate on us. Us guys aren't into each other. I'm not paranoid about it. If my dick accidentally touches him, I don't think it'll turn me gay. I think some guys think if you're sandwiching a girl, and two dicks touch, it's like crossing the streams in Ghostbusters.
A few nights ago, all four of us had the ingredients just right for a singular event. We had gone through out routine a couple of times. Everybody was suitably hot and bothered. My wife and I were on the floor. We'd laid a big, fluffy comforter on the carpet to avoid rugburn. I was on my back and my wife was on top of me, straddling and facing me. The other couple was next to us. She was bent over the couch, on her knees, and he was behind her, doggystyle. On my back, I had a great view of what was going on with them.
When my wife likes to be on top. She like a lot of penetration. She tends to egg me on until it's too much and I'll back off. When she's on top, she gets more control. She has her best orgasms when she's on top. It's all good for me, but I like her there too. I can grab her hips and ass and grind her into me. When she leans forward, her boobs hang a little bit away from her body, close to my face. It gives me good access. Yeah, I like her on top.
I divided my attention between watching my wife and the other couple. My wife, on top, was next to him. My wife was leaning back so she could see him going in and out of her. The angle also was pressing my dick up against her G-spot. With my wife's attention engaged, I started watching her friend. She had her arms and forehead on the couch with her eyes closed. She was really getting into it. Totally concentrating. Making little noises.
My head was pretty much right underneath her. My wife, getting turned on by the action from her point of view, got into a particularly good series of gyrations and I made some kind of sexy noise. My wife's friend opened her eyes and I was busted, totally perving out on her. But in this context, it was totally appropriate. We both kind of laughed and she bent over so that she could kiss me. I'm a good kisser and I get really turned on by making out during sex. After trying to eat her mouth for a while, I stroked her breasts with one hand and and grabbed my wife's hip with the other to get leverage. It set off a chain reaction that led to the... wait for it... quadruple simultaneous orgasm! My wife's friend went first, I was a close second, my wife waited to see me start before she let go, and the other guy was the anchor. They were all close enough that we all overlapped.
Nobody felt self conscious afterwards. We all kind of laid in sex covered puppy pile for a while. My wife and I aren't weird about it. We're not worried about it. In fact, we're supposed to hook up with them Thursday (today, I guess). This weekend, the four of us and another couple are going to Red Rooster. At least the fornicators don't have to go to one of the bad levels of Hell. I'll bet it'll be billions of years before it even starts to bother me.
I'm a sex robot.