People often ask really dumb questions and it gets irritating. Sometimes I wish Bill Engvall was there so he could give them one of his signs that say they are stupid. Other times I just want to punch that person.

Here are just a few of the dumbest questions questions I have ever heard:

I was working at a gas station and an ugly lady came in, she said, "Excuse me! Do you work here?"

I said, "No! I just enjoy wearing a shirt that says Citgo on it and walking around the pumps all day!"

Then she said, "Oh, well these numbers, this 1.85 above the pump, is that supposed to mean something?"

I thought, "Oh god, what an idiot!" But I did not want to be rude, so I didn't say that. Instead I told her, "From the looks of you I would have to say it is either your IQ or your bra size!"

When young kids get into trouble, their mom and dad often ask, "How old are you?" The kid thinks, "I know your age is 41 and you don't know my age?" Then he says, "12." His mom and dad say, "12? Then why would you do something like this and act like a Six year old............?"

I worked in a grocery store and an idiot called and asked, "Do you carry Tomatoes?"

I thought, "Of course you idiot! This is a grocery store! Hello, duhhh!" I just said, "Well, I don't know. Let me go check."

I put that stupid lady on hold for a half an hour, then I went back to the phone and the dumb lady was still on the phone.

I just said, "I looked all around the store and we don't have any tomatoes. Sorry! Next time lady, just come in and look for your self!"

I got pulled over by the police one night, a few years ago, it was about 2:30 in the morning. The cop asked me, "Have you been drinking tonight?" I said, "No. I don't drink."

I just thought, "Well duh, what else would I be doing out this late at night?"

He had me get out of the truck and gave me some tests. The first one was say the Alphabet.

He said, "Did you graduate from high school? Are you fluent in English? Can you say the Alphabet?"

I said, " Well no Mr 'offisher'."

I thought, "Duh! Would I have a drivers license in the US if I were not literate?"

For the record: I got lucky that night, I was Two points under the limit, so he had to let me go! LOL.

I was in my US Army uniform in Mannheim, Germany and a German girl came and asked me if I speak and read English.

I said, "Duhhhhh! Would I be in the US Army if I don't speak English?"