Various SEC related jokes

1.) A fellow walks into a bar, orders a drink, and asks the bartender if he'd like to hear a good Florida joke. "Listen buddy," he growled. "See those two big guys on your left? They were both lineman on the Florida football team. And that huge fellow on your right was a world-class wrestler at Florida. That guy in the corner was Florida's all-time champion weight lifter. And i lettered in 3 sports at Florida. Now, are you absolutely positive you want to go ahead and tell your joke here?" "Nah, guess not," the man replied, "I wouldn't want to have to explain it 5 times."

2.) What's the difference between a Florida Gator and a catfish? One's a slimy, smelly, scum-sucking bottom feeder and the other's a catfish.

3.) What's the difference between Tennessee men and UT coeds? The men can spit further.

4.) How is the Tennessee football team like a possum? They play dead at home and get killed on the road.

5.) How do you come to own a small business in tennessee? Buy a large business and put a UT grad in charge of it.

6.) What does the Tennessee football teama nd a sand castle have in common? They both look real good until the tide rolls in.

7.) Auburn and Georgia were playing a game at Georgia. With about two minutes left in the first half, Georgia had the ball with a first down. A Georgia fan sets some firecrackers off. Auburn, thinking it was halftime, ran off the field. Three plays later, Georgia punts.

8.) An Alabama Fan and his girlfriend were embracing passionately in the front seat of a car. "Want to go in the back seat?" she asked. "No" he replied. A few minutes later she asked, "Now do you want to get in the back seat?". "No" he said again, "I wanna stay here in the front seat with you."

9.) Where was OJ headed in the white bronco? To Tuscaloosa ... He knew that the Police would never look for a Heisman Trophy winner there.

10.) How do you get an Alabama cheerleader to lose ten pounds of ugly fat? Cut off her head.

Uploaded 08/16/2008
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