The know it all voter:
Everyone comes across the "know it all voter" at least 14,987 times during the last two weeks of the election race. These people know their congressman's children's birth dates and will make it a point to let you know, that they know their congressman's children's birth dates. These people suck. The also make it a point to use every single voting catch phrase they know. You may be walking to class and hear "hey man, don't forget to rock the vote!" Or, "Hey man, Vote or Die! Diddy said so!" No I will not die if I don't vote and no, no one cares that you follow politicians closer than you follow your own life, so please just stop and go volunteer at your local representatives office.

The hardcore liberal voter:
The hardcore liberals are some of the worst kinds of humans you will ever meet. They are usually vegans and they are usually extremely ugly. Hardcore liberals always have everything figured out and they will yell at you for having an SUV even if your John and Kate plus 8. They are always just a little bit ahead of the curve and are ready to jump on the next political fad as soon as celebrities tell them to. Why did you vote, young hardcore liberal? Oh, because George Clooney and Matt Damon told you to? Well they are handsome and Oceans 11 was a pretty good movie...

The hardcore conservative voter:
These people have every episode of Bill Reilly TiVo'ed, and worship this man as the Ewoks worshiped C-3P0. Want to have a political debate? Not with a hardcore conservative you won't. As any educated man/woman knows, hardcore conservatives are always right because they are always louder and the louder you are, the more right you are. You have one campaign sign on your lawn, they have thirty two. Make a point, and they'll just make theres louder. You like Obama? Well they like McCain louder. It doesn't matter because as recent scientific tests from major universities show, the decibel level of a hardcore conservatives voice is always in direct correlation with the hardcore conservatives IQ.

The "I just turned on CNN yesterday, but am ready to give you political advice" voter:
Oh, wow, you just watched Anderson Cooper last night for five minutes. Please provide me and everyone else you know with superior political facts and figures so we can make a more politically suitable vote. Please do change your facebook status every five minutes so I can get the latest breaking political coverage directly from you. My family and I actually turned of the TV with all this useless political coverage and are simply tuning into your facebook page.

The feminists voters:
Seriously, just shave your armpits.

The racist (black person) voter:
The racist black people are stupid because they only vote based on color. They vote for Obama, not because they care what he has to say or what he’s going to do for the country but because he can hit 3 pointers all day long and can dance better than me. These people spend more money on the rims for their car then they did for the actual car. The only thing worse than a racist black voter is....

The racist (white person) voter:
These people, like the racist black people, are stupid because they only vote based on color. They join us here in civilization land and experience the wonders of sanitation systems and dental treatments every four years. It doesn't matter they can't read or don't have electricity, they will still vote for the nominee that has spilled the most animal blood. Obama could be the greatest president of all time but they will never admit it because they can't admit a black person has achieved more than they every will in their lives. The rims on these people’s cars are usually the same rims that are on their homes.

Me:
I of course am the only informed voter in the United States and I arguably could fall under one or more of the various voters I have listed for you hear today. What makes me right is the fact that I took the time to write this while you just took the time to read this.

I hope I have offended as many of you as possible, seeing as how all of you offended me, regularly, in four year intervals. You suck, see you in four years. The know it all voter:
Everyone comes across the "know it all voter" at least 14,987 times during the last two weeks of the election race. These people know their congressman's children's birth dates and will make it a point to let you know, that they know their congressman's children's birth dates. These people suck. The also make it a point to use every single voting catch phrase they know. You may be walking to class and hear "hey man, don't forget to rock the vote!" Or, "Hey man, Vote or Die! Diddy said so!" No I will not die if I don't vote and no, no one cares that you follow politicians closer than you follow your own life, so please just stop and go volunteer at your local representatives office.

The hardcore liberal voter:
The hardcore liberals are some of the worst kinds of humans you will ever meet. They are usually vegans and they are usually extremely ugly. Hardcore liberals always have everything figured out and they will yell at you for having an SUV even if your John and Kate plus 8. They are always just a little bit ahead of the curve and are ready to jump on the next political fad as soon as celebrities tell them to. Why did you vote, young hardcore liberal? Oh, because George Clooney and Matt Damon told you to? Well they are handsome and Oceans 11 was a pretty good movie...

The hardcore conservative voter:
These people have every episode of Bill Reilly TiVo'ed, and worship this man as the Ewoks worshiped C-3P0. Want to have a political debate? Not with a hardcore conservative you won't. As any educated man/woman knows, hardcore conservatives are always right because they are always louder and the louder you are, the more right you are. You have one campaign sign on your lawn, they have thirty two. Make a point, and they'll just make theres louder. You like Obama? Well they like McCain louder. It doesn't matter because as recent scientific tests from major universities show, the decibel level of a hardcore conservatives voice is always in direct correlation with the hardcore conservatives IQ.

The "I just turned on CNN yesterday, but am ready to give you political advice" voter:
Oh, wow, you just watched Anderson Cooper last night for five minutes. Please provide me and everyone else you know with superior political facts and figures so we can make a more politically suitable vote. Please do change your facebook status every five minutes so I can get the latest breaking political coverage directly from you. My family and I actually turned of the TV with all this useless political coverage and are simply tuning into your facebook page.

The feminists voters:
Seriously, just shave your armpits.

The racist (black person) voter:
The racist black people are stupid because they only vote based on color. They vote for Obama, not because they care what he has to say or what he’s going to do for the country but because he can hit 3 pointers all day long and can dance better than me. These people spend more money on the rims for their car then they did for the actual car. The only thing worse than a racist black voter is....

The racist (white person) voter:
These people, like the racist black people, are stupid because they only vote based on color. They join us here in civilization land and experience the wonders of sanitation systems and dental treatments every four years. It doesn't matter they can't read or don't have electricity, they will still vote for the nominee that has spilled the most animal blood. Obama could be the greatest president of all time but they will never admit it because they can't admit a black person has achieved more than they every will in their lives. The rims on these peoples cars are usually the same rims that are on their homes.

Me:
I of course am the only informed voter in the United States and I arguably could fall under one or more of the various voters I have listed for you hear today. What makes me right is the fact that I took the time to write this while you just took the time to read this.

I hope I have offended as many of you as possible, seeing as how all of you offended me, regularly, in four year intervals. You suck, see you in four years.