Charlie the Turtle
My mom, my dad, my sister, my bro-in-law and my 8 month old niece were about to pull into the wal-mart parking lot from the highway when Chris, my bro-in-law, yells "It's a turtle in the road!"
"Omg!" yells my sister. (she speaks text)
Chris: "We have to save it before it gets runned over!"
Never missing the opprotunitty for entertainment, I yelled to my dad who was driving "Yeah! Pull over! we have to save it!"
Dad: "I'm not pulling over for a turtle!"
Then everyone yelled stuff like "C'mon!" "Please!" "I have to pee!"
So he pulled over to the side of the highway and pushed the button to open the van door. Being the retard I am, I ran out in front of speeding cars, grabbed the turtle and made a run for it. Chris grabbed it and said "Let's put him in the van! i will name him Charlie!"
Mom: "No! get that turtle out of my van!...It's going to attack the baby!"
Now I don't know about you, but I've never seen a turtle run up to someone and viciosly attack. I mean even snapping turtles have to be provoked. I've never seen someone yell "Oh NO! It's a TURTLE!...We're all gonna die!"
I think the comment my Mom made freaked out my sister because she picked up her feet and screamed "It's gonna get my ankles!"
Not wanting the turtle to dehydrate and die in the car I had no choice but to bring Charlie with me into wal-mart with me. I put him in my buggy and man did I get some stares and comments! Two big black girls were staring me down and following me while speaking very loudly: "Is that a turtle?!" "Yeah, Gurl! thats a tutle!" "Oh my Loyd!"
We later found a pond far away from any highway and released him. I hope Charlie is still doing ok...and not dead.