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The Day The Monkey's Take Over The World

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Could it happen? Could we be on the verge of it and not know? When we find out, will it be too late? Can we stop it? All are very good questions. But this event could be bigger than anything we have experienced as humans. It's bigger than 9-11; bigger than any of the World Wars; and bigger than any natural disasters experienced since the history of humans. Yes, I'm talking about the day The Primates take over the world.
They evolved once and we were created, who says it can't happen again? How do we not know if it's happening right now? All over the world primates could be planning the extinction of man as we know it. It would start slow, all the years that man has kept monkeys, lemurs and apes as pets or in zoos they've been watching us, and learning. Learning what we eat, what we watch, what makes us cry, what makes us hurt even what we laugh at. They learn how to use all the objects we use in our day to day lives; microwaves, TV's, sissors, bank machines, computers, urinals, DVD players, dildos, penis pumps, can openers, you name it, they've seen a human use it. All this information gets communicated to other primates. The gorilla in the zoo, tells the pet spider monkey, who tells the movie chimp, which is shooting an action movie in the jungle with Jean Claude Van Damme, who tells a wild lemur.
Once out in the open, the information spreads quickly. Soon primates around the world are all on the same page. They keep their new found intellect a secret, maintaining their normal behavior to us humans; they begin to setup communication lines amongst themselves. Once the communication network is established, plans for the takeover begin. The primates have learned that some of them carry a human strain of a virus, which is completely harmless to them, but fatal in humans. Groups begin self infecting themselves to build an army of biological weapons, themselves. Once all the primates have infected themselves with the new bio-weapon virus, word goes out to begin gathering together. Primates from around the world begin to gather together in the jungle, any scientist or person who ventures too close to the newly forming group is killed to maintain secrecy.
Phase one, groups of primates are sent out to begin infecting humans with the new virus. The virus is air born so the virus spreads quickly. Word gets around to the humans that a new virus is killing thousands, we send in scientists, the primates kill the scientists. Humans become suspicious of the situation, but it's too late. Millions of primates are now ready to strike; they arm themselves with spears, rocks and clubs. They move en-mass moving toward the nearest port town, already devastated by the virus, killing any human that comes in their way. Once they move into the city, the spears are replaced with knives, guns and rocket launchers. The city becomes their new head quarters; they gather weapons, and vehicles.
Phase two, the primates fill ships with armies of primates and send them to every continent. Once the virus reaches the other continents, it continues to spread like wild fire. Word of the invasion has now spread as well, but it's too late. Complete cities are infected with the virus; nations consider using nuclear weapons, but fear that they will kill too many humans in the process, same with biological weapons. The primates keep themselves on the move, moving and hiding in forests away from human eyes. Humans begin to panic, they try to run, but there is no running from the virus, or the moving armies of primates, which only have become stronger as they spread. 90% of the human population is gone; primate strong holds are established in major cities on every continent.
Phase three, seek and gather groups are setup by the primates to round up the last of the humans. They'll be used as guinea pigs for primate experiments, slaves and even as pets. As fast as it started, it's over. It is planet of the apes, but for real. It is the saddest story ever written. Don't worry though; it won't be long before the primates begin to exhibit all the bad habit and health problems of the late humans. War, obesity, laziness, high cholesterol, terrorism, reality television, hip-hop, drugs and primate porn will all take their toll on the primates. The world does not become a better place. Soon the population of the primates begins to shrink. Just as things look bad for the primates, a meteor hits the earth and kills every living thing on the planet. The earth eventually starts over, from the beginning. Hey, it could happen, remember what Charles Manson said in his jail cell, "Is it hot in here or am I nuts?"

djjohnlucas Uploaded 07/23/2008
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