this is early for this sort of thing, but i dont give a flying shit up a tall ladder. here is what i have planned for 2009:

become a battle rapper: this could be hard cuz i cant rap, but ft.wortx,isnt exactly the home of battle rappin so i might dominate.

stop jerkin at work: yea, it might not be too bad for you, but i work outside and we have port-a-pottys for bathrooms. nothing says looseryankin yer crank in a plastic shitter.

make a sexual comment to a city/state official: cuz i love government officials

dry hump a b list celebrity: or get a HJ from cathy griffin, whichever comes first

get on tv for something: COPS has whole shows devoted to the dallas/ft.worth area so this is do-able

find my wife a girlfriend: do i have to explain why?

make enough money to be viewed as eccentric instead of crazy

finally get ahold of that Mathew Lesker guy and either choke him or learn how he gets free money from the government

buy alot of sham wows

only eat chicken wings

shit three times a day

start my own church and get government money for humanitarian causes, but just pocket the money( ha, now i can just choke Mthew Leskar)

i'm trying to think up more goals, but i cant. any suggestions?