Remember as a kid making stuff up ? Looking back at the imagination we had, I've noticed that my imaginary friend was a metaphor for my penis.

A boy loves to play with his um, best friend. And in our imagination its really big. Like the size of a house. We want our jammies to be really big. But not just for selfish reasons. Its for humanity.

Lets say you're drowning in the ocean. I can unzip and throw it out to you like a lifeline.

Or maybe there is a deadly meteor hurtling towards earth... have no fear... I used to play baseball!

Or like, if an apartment building was on fire, and there was a mother with her baby trapped on the top floor... have no fear! My meat ladder is here!

(unzip)

Uh-oh.

Just a minute!

Hmm. Arg! Trying to get it up! Starting to sweat! Spit on hand

Just a moment!!!

Maybe if I play with my balls relax, relax

Dammit! I knew I shouldnt have had so much to drink! Oh well, you win some, you lose some.

You guys stay right there! I'll be back after I take a short nap. I promise, in the morning, I'll save the shit out of you!