DOWN HERE AT THE PAWN SHOP
when i was younger i had quite a few jobs. some were boring, some were not, none of them paid well.one particular job i had at a local pawn shop never left me with a dull moment. any of you who have been to a pawnshop, know you deal with alot of scuzzy people. in addition to that we worked 10 hour days and had to be on our feet the whole time (no lunch break). it sucked, and to make matters worse, the owners brother worked with us and he was a lazy turd.
now this guy would use taking a shit as an excuse to not work. hed be in the bathroom for hours a day. nobodys that regular. but there hed go at least 5 or 6 times a day (in addition to smoke breaks) into the bathroom. he knew hed never get fired, and he took full advantage of it. letting the rest of us do his work for him, it was only a matter of time before an insurrection began to brew.
we came up with a brilliant plan to exact our revenge and , at the same time, make the bathroom a not so safe zone for our friend anymore. lets call our friend 'steve' for simplicities sake. that and his name was actually steve. anyhoo, a couple of employees and i came in early to work and coated the roll of toilet paper with a thin layer of mace. its clear, so when it dried, youd have never known what evil it held.
sure enough when steve came in that day (an hour late as usual), he worked for 15 min and then headed to the bathroom. we all gathered around to wait and see what happened. 10 min into his break he came running out of the bathroom crying because his asshole was on fire. now by the way he was crying and holding himself, youd have thought we lit a road flare up his ass. never in my life have i laughed so hard. it gave me a headache laughing so much. seeing a grown man dance around holding his ass and crying like hed just wiped his ass with a jalapeno spun me into a dimension of hilarity ive never experienced before.
you would think he would have learned his lesson right? not so much, he just learned bring his own toilet paper. so the war was on, and we the mighty employees of court street jewelry and loan were not about to back down. steves lazy tyranny had to come to an end one way or another. but how we wondered? the answer came to us one day when a crackhead wanted to pawn some electronics.
i was searchiong through the myriad of shit this guy brought in and i found a cell phone with a wireless receiver setup in the bag with it. something was atrange about the phone and when i took it apart, i discovered it was a wireless spy camera setup hidden inside a cell phone! i began to devise a plan with the use of my new 'panty cam' to teach steve a lesson in hilarity.
now in this particular pawn shop, their is a wall of tvs. now by a wall i mean 25 feet high by about 50 feet long of shelves filled with tvs. i took the receiver of the panty cam and hooked it into the tvs so the image from the camera would broadcast on all the tvs. i then went into the bathroom and put the cam on the sink facing the toilet. like clockwork, in goes steve. outside the bathroom, steve had a live television audience watching him try to squeeze whatever bean burrito he had the night before, out of his ass. 1250 sq ft of embaressment. simply awesome... youd think hed learn his lesson right? nope, but ill continue that in another blog.