Should I be worried about H1N1? That's the flu virus more politically-correctly termed "Mexican Pig Flu." Supposedly it's a combination avian/porcine flu bugs that has found a way to jump from human to human as if it were but a harmless animal like a skabies mite from a Guatamalan Crack-whore.

You have all heard the speculation in the media about the level of peril mankind is in. There is talk of the 1918 pandemic , the 1930 pandemic, the black plague., the bad hairstyles of the '80s. I feel like I should be concerned but I'm not.

I believe the science behind the theory of a superbug; a bacteria that Is immune to anti-biotics or a virus which mutates faster than Madonna. I know that such a biohazard could put a damper on the party we call normal life but I also know from watching hype-othetical shockumentaries that the Earth could be hit by a comet or that global warming could kill all the unicorns or that a mega-earthquake could make my city of Seattle part of the island of WashGoniFornia.

The FARKIAN world of modern news reporting saturates us with so much doom-forcasting about things like Y2K, SARS, Bird flu, the financial crisis, online predators, the ozone layer, terrorists, drugs, killer bees from South America (I may be dating myself here) I don't know if I shoould actually check on the sheep every time CNN reports a wolf sighting.

What worries me is that every time we, as a population are galvanized by a common fear it is an opportunity for those in power to enact laws to give them more power.

I wonder if H1N1 will turn out like Captain Trips in Steven King's The Stand leaving us to all fend for ourselves or if it will turn us all in to psudo-zombies, like 28 Days/Weeks Later. I hope it's not the latter. That shit's just scary. Give me the old ambling, all-messed-up walking dead of the Romero flicks!!!

I wonder if the Super-Pig-Mexican-Bird Flu is a brilliant publicity ploy by the Purell Hand Sanatizer company.....*cough*