World Of Warcraft Better Than Canadian Girlfriend?
MrsNekoJeans
Published
12/01/2010
Not so long ago, a Canadian girl (she probably wants to remain anonymous) said that her boyfriend isn't attracted to her anymore. He likes to play World of Warcraft instead of sleeping with his girlfriend. It was very courageous (and dumb) of Tyaeda to share that. I've put much thought into that matter. I'm not a loser to play WoW and I don't know what the game is essentially. I heard the makers of this game made billions of dollars on it. That's far from being a loser. With that in mind, I made my own study and here's what I found:
World of Warcraft is a game in which you play as a hero of some kind and can
team up with your friends. The goal is to fight orcs and shit.
Now that we know what the game is, let's get back to the matter at hand. Why
do Canadian guys like watching orks more then sleeping with their girlfriends? Here's a survey I made:
On one side we have a hideous, monkey-like creature. It's teeth are huge and irregular. Beady eyes and blank stare show what's going on inside it's head - primal instincts. Weird skin color would suggest some kind of a disease, but the beast looks rather strong and healthy.
On the other side we have an ork.
Why do Canadian guys prefer orks to their girlfriends? Here's what my study shows:
* Orks are simple creatures and their language is very limited. Typical ork phrases would be "Me go find food", "You go or I crush your skull" and "Groaaaaaaaurrrr!" It might seem like a bad thing, but it's not. They can't do what scientists call "word diarrhea". Orks don't bother spending hours talking nonsense to their boyfriends. Even if they wanted to - it's impossible for them to do that. They also can't write whiny blogs about how their boyfriends like WoW more then sleeping with them (orks are not intelligent enough to become literate and they are already in World of Warcraft).
* Orks are good with axes. Super lumberjack abilities of the Canadians are widely known. Orks and their axe wielding skills are very appealing to Canadian males. Unlike their lazy women, which all have super lumberjack powers, orks like to hack things with an axe and are happy about it. Studies show that 9 out of 10 Canadian males get an erection from watching orks cut down trees.
* Orks don't wear cheap make-up. They are proud creatures aware of their looks. When asked if they would like to wear make-up, 67.8% tried to kill the person which asked the question. Other popular reactions were eating the make-up or "Groaaaaaaaurrrr!" I made an experiment which shows similar results. After putting a clown nose on an ork, we see that it doesn't resemble a clown in full make-up, unlike the Canadian female.
It's obvious why Canadian males like orks better than sleeping with their girlfriends. Canadian females can't compete with orks.
________________________
MrsNekoJeans, blogger of the new generation, nominated for Pulitzer prize twice, chosen Best Blogger by everybody that matters on Ebaumsworld. Poet, wordsmith, brilliant pianist, proffessional tennis player and altruist.
World of Warcraft is a game in which you play as a hero of some kind and can
team up with your friends. The goal is to fight orcs and shit.
Now that we know what the game is, let's get back to the matter at hand. Why
do Canadian guys like watching orks more then sleeping with their girlfriends? Here's a survey I made:
On one side we have a hideous, monkey-like creature. It's teeth are huge and irregular. Beady eyes and blank stare show what's going on inside it's head - primal instincts. Weird skin color would suggest some kind of a disease, but the beast looks rather strong and healthy.
On the other side we have an ork.
Why do Canadian guys prefer orks to their girlfriends? Here's what my study shows:
* Orks are simple creatures and their language is very limited. Typical ork phrases would be "Me go find food", "You go or I crush your skull" and "Groaaaaaaaurrrr!" It might seem like a bad thing, but it's not. They can't do what scientists call "word diarrhea". Orks don't bother spending hours talking nonsense to their boyfriends. Even if they wanted to - it's impossible for them to do that. They also can't write whiny blogs about how their boyfriends like WoW more then sleeping with them (orks are not intelligent enough to become literate and they are already in World of Warcraft).
* Orks are good with axes. Super lumberjack abilities of the Canadians are widely known. Orks and their axe wielding skills are very appealing to Canadian males. Unlike their lazy women, which all have super lumberjack powers, orks like to hack things with an axe and are happy about it. Studies show that 9 out of 10 Canadian males get an erection from watching orks cut down trees.
* Orks don't wear cheap make-up. They are proud creatures aware of their looks. When asked if they would like to wear make-up, 67.8% tried to kill the person which asked the question. Other popular reactions were eating the make-up or "Groaaaaaaaurrrr!" I made an experiment which shows similar results. After putting a clown nose on an ork, we see that it doesn't resemble a clown in full make-up, unlike the Canadian female.
It's obvious why Canadian males like orks better than sleeping with their girlfriends. Canadian females can't compete with orks.
________________________
MrsNekoJeans, blogger of the new generation, nominated for Pulitzer prize twice, chosen Best Blogger by everybody that matters on Ebaumsworld. Poet, wordsmith, brilliant pianist, proffessional tennis player and altruist.
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