dont know what to do.

I have no control over my life. I have been messed up sense 8th grade. I just want my life to be mine. I feel like i want to kill myself when things get way to much. Kids on my cross country and track thing always say my mom is psyco. i dont blame them.. i dont know what i was thinking signing up for an ap course,, history is my fav subj. but i cant do it.. i hate school, i want my own life. MY OWN LIFE.