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Driving Deunan crazy

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After the Seattle areas "snowpocalypse" or "snowmageddon" (lol about a foot and a half in all) we had a fairly major windstorm a day or so after all the ice melted. The "snowmageddon" was really laughable honestly but the ice that covered everything shortly after that was another story. The tree in my front yard had at least one solid inch of ice covering it. Where I live is a very wooded area, the trees were covered in ice for several days. Many trees couldn't handle the weight of the ice and fell, taking with them many, many powerlines. There were close to 300,000 people without power for almost a week. It ended up being a bit more serious than I initially thought it to be.

I mentioned above a windstorm...a day after the ice melted we had upwards of 60mph winds blast the crap out of the greater Seattle area. I left for work Wednesday morning at my normal time, 6:30am. My usual drive to work is about 40 to 45 mins. It took me 2 hours and 10 minutes to get there Wednesday due to trees and even MORE power lines littering the highway. Having that much time to just 'think' and being bored to tears because my stereo isn't working and being highly pissed off over the whole mess got me to road raging fairly quickly.

There are some things that other drivers do that just boggle the "normal" human being's mind. I am in no way a professional driver of any kind. I am just a regular dude but I "do" take pride in the fact that I have been driving for over 26 years and have never been at fault for any accident. No I don't drive like a retiree or like an asian :) Like I said I am your average everyday kind of guy. In my years of driving though, I have noticed (and raged) over other driver's inability to simply drive in a fashion becoming of this planet's dominant race. During my 2+ hour drive to work I started making a mental list of road idiocy to entertain you all with...........enjoy!

 

The "windshield wiper guy".

If my windshield wipers are set to wipe every 5 seconds and are doing their job splendidly then there is no reason why the guy behind me should have his wipers set to the speed of fucking light! Now I'm sure you're asking yourself why this bothers me. To me if operating the car's most simple mechanism is beyond the driver's capability than I'm 100% positive the car's more complicated devices are beyond the idiot's scope. Right?....Right!

 

The "left line/right line hugger".

The left line hugger is only annoying if he's behind me. His left headlight is shining directly into my left mirror burning out my retinas. The right line hugger is annoying no matter where he is. Behind me I can't see him in my left mirror at all. In front of me I can't tell if he plans on changing lanes or what. If he's to my left I can't help but feel that at any time he's going to sideswipe me. If he's to my right it's less annoying to me for sure but MORE annoying to other drivers. Stay in the center people!

 

The "highbeamers".

Somewhat self explanatory but I, of course, will venture further :) If he's behind me doesn't he realize that I don't plan on reading a book while I'm driving? Of course I can flip the rearview mirror to ease the aggravation but we all know that moving any mirror is a MAJOR annoyance to any normal driver. If the "highbeamer" is coming at me I, of course, flash him but most of them generally aren't "bright" enough to even get WHY they are being flashed.

 

The "tailgaters".

Nothing is more enraging than this dude. Regardless of the speed you are both traveling these idiots stay no more than 2 feet behind you. They don't get the fact that at any time I can just say "FUCK IT" and lock my brakes up and this moron has to buy me a new car AND probably pay me lots of money. Once I did just that.......the van behind me locked his brakes up and lost control. I watched in my rearview as he landed in the ditch...I didn't even bother to stop for the asshole. In my mind he deserved it.

 

The "no lights at night guy".

Beyond the fact that this guy is just ASKING for an accident are the more subtle questions. How long has he been driving without them on? Should I flash his stupid ass? The most amazing thing about this specific individual is the fact that without even his running lights on he can't see his dash gauges. He has no idea how fast he's going. If he's been driving that way for some time, to me, it shows a total disregard to or unawareness of his surroundings which, in turn, proves to me his lack of intelligence.

 

I've gone on long enough I suppose. I would very much like to hear other's ideas of driving Darwinism.

 

Driven crazy Deunan 

DeunanKnute Uploaded 01/27/2012
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