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Ramblings of the Stoned XII

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"Write drunk, edit sober." - Hemingway


-Becoming famous overnight must be like having people that have met you before a million times not remember your name, to having a million people you've never met know your name.

 

-As much as it sucks to have someone attack you personally during a debate, at least you know you've won.  That's just how immature people react when you shake their ideals with logic.

 

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-Why are the sprouts not acting as his mane?  This makes no sense.  Thanks for spoiling my late night trip to Walgreens, Chia Pet.

 

-"Twilight":  At least now the guys get to feel how annoying their enthusiasm for porn and porn stars  is to us. #shutupalready #thatswhatyoufindattractive?

 

-I may be the only Star Wars fan who doesn't think the introduction of the idea that Darth Vader built C-3P0 is stupid.  At the beginning of a new hope, he belonged to Princess Leia.  It's not crazy to think that 3P0 became hers by virtue of the fact that he once belonged to her father.  Nobody thinks that Luke getting the lightsaber that was constructed by and once belonged to his father is stupid.  Just sayin'.

 

-Just found a goof not listed on imdb.  Watching "Red Dawn" on Netflix.  Right after the boys escape the invasion and are first shown in the woods, there's a part where Patrick Swayze holds up a radio damaged by gunfire, and there's just some guy that looks like Mr. Belvedere standing there.  Then he walks off screen, and there's some guy that looks like Ron Swanson standing behind him, and both are dressed like they were doing a photo shoot for the 1984 LL Bean Winter catalog.  They're right in the shot, plain as day.  Hilarious.


-When a child is talented and hard-working, they are considered precocious and annoying.  If an adult is talentless and lazy, they are seen as worthless.  The secret to success in life seems to be to hide how good you are as a child, and to hide how much you suck as an adult. 

 


-What if the Westboro Baptist Church are really good people, and they're secretly trying to unite people through their mutual hatred of the them?

 

 

-It's difficult to share whats going on in your life with your parents, because they always want to give advice.  What they give with the hope of helping you out comes across as insulting, because its as if they forget how old you are, and don't consider the fact that you spend most of your energy analyzing these goals or fears of yours.  Its like calling tech support and being asked if the device is plugged in, to the tenth power.  Its like walking out of the bathroom and being asked if you remembered to wipe before you washed your hands.

 

 

-The crowd was eerily silent.  The only sound was the distinct dropping of a pin.

 

 

-Is it just me, or does anything with "collector's edition" printed on it seem automatically devalued?

 

-The new year is like a new Trapper Keeper. Every time you had one, you were like "I'm going to be super organized this time around." And then the top hole on one of your folders breaks free from the ring, and the syllabus gets crumpled at the bottom of your backpack, and it turns to chaos. Here's to the neat and tidy half-month.

 

-When I'm writing one of these random thoughts down late at night after some recreation, I'll often have one of those moments Ralphie has in "A Christmas Story", where he's writing his theme paper, stops and says "Oh man, thats great!"  However, the next morning, Ill read it back and mentally grade it like Miss Shields.

 

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-The reason a stranger might seem more attractive than your partner upon first consideration is the reason a sunset is considered more captivating than a clear blue sky.  A clear blue sky is one of the most beautiful things in the world, but you take its beauty for granted because you see it far more frequently.  I suppose that's the gist of the term "exotic beauty".

 

-To a child, the day seems to stretch on forever.  This is why bed time gets the same reaction as a death sentence to be carried out immediately.

BiserSchap Uploaded 01/03/2013
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