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Banking Industry Sets NEW Regulations on ATM use!

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A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:
 
 
'Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.'
 
 
'Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.'
 
 
After months of careful research, MALE &FEMALE Procedures have been developed Please follow the Appropriate steps for your gender.'
 
*******************************
MALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and
    withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.
 
 
*******************************
 
 
FEMALE PROCEDURE:
What is really funny is that most of this part is the Truth.!!!!
 
 
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required
    amount to align car window with the
    machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4 Find handbag, remove all contents on
   to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call
     them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to
    machine due to its excessive distance
    from the car.
8. Insert card.
9 Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with
     your PIN written on the inside back
     page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct
     PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet
     and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register 
     and place receipt in back of
     checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card
     holder, and place card into the slot
     provided!
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver
     waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26.  Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27.  Release Parking Brake.

MRTurnerRULES Uploaded 08/27/2008
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