When Does Expendables 3 Come Out?

The people who made that retarded movie's first and second part should probably not film the third. Why? Because Expendables 2 is one of the most pathetic shit movies in Hollywood history. After raping the image of vampires with that Twilight's Sparkling Edward shit, another genius came up with an idea to get a lot of money on stupid people. Since the 80s movies with such legends as Stallone or Schwarzenegger were amazing hits, how about call the nursing homes and ask the actors if they wanna play in a new movie together.

The effect? I didn't watch the whole movie, I watched fragments from time to time. I saw the ending. It's basically that some token good guy gets killed, the other good guys want revenge on the bad guys. They find the bad guys' location and kill their hundreds of hench men. No plot, plain retarded shooting and killing. The actors are old and they constantly try to make jokes like they're so cool. Some of them turned out to look like it was their first movie they played in.

Watching Expendables is comparable to watching grandparents dress up in gold chains and go to a Skrillex concert. If you wanna ruin the memories of your favorite action movies, go ahead and watch the Expendables cast lose their dignity:

Sylvester Stallone (66) 


I have to admit, he's buff for someone this ancient. He's one of the authors of the script. "ONE OF THE AUTHORS"?!?!?! Like in "there's more than ONE"? It took more than one person to figure out a script for a movie with 90% shooting 10% lame ass old movie lines/talking about how they are old? Come on. Over The Top, Rocky, Rambo, Cobra, Tango & Cash - those are the movies Stallone is known for. Most of them are cheesy, but fun to watch. You can't say the same about Expendables 2.

Chuck Norris (72)


One of the most cheesy ass actors on the planet, known for his ridiculous roles and using his image to sell shit in shopping networks, Chuck Norris was the bane of this movie. Watching the scenes where he showed up was almost unbearable. Chuck's most recognisable films are the Total Gym commercial and that clip where him and his wife whine about Obama being a socialist and ask people not to vote for him.

Jet Li (49)


One of the worst disappointments when it comes for this movie is Jet Li. Not only does he not fill the action with his trademark kung fu stunts, he uses a gun to shoot people, which adds him as another one of those boring shooting characters. His hairdo in the film is ridiculous - the long hair make him look like a girl. Another thing is, he rarely smiles throughout the movie, perhaps because he realises how low he stooped by participating in this garbage.

Arnold Schwarzenegger (65)


If I was to bet which one of the Expendables 2 has to wear a diaper, it would be Arnold. He doesn't look old. That's an understatement. He looks ancient. And he's been living in the States for most of his life and he still can't talk properly. Maybe Germans/Australians are unable to learn how to pronounce English words right.

Will there be a 3rd part? It has been announced already. Are you serious? Who enjoyed this shit movie? Is there one person who wasn't disappointed by this pulp? Why wasn't Vin diesel in there? Oh, that's right, he has dignity.

Uploaded 12/28/2012
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Tags: neko blog