Where are all the new blogs?

No new blogs to troll?  Maybe the bloggers of ebaums are in the middle of their next Dickensesque novella.  So I will indulge you bored trolls anxiously awaiting there publication with a blog of my own.  Told from the very depths of hell.
I remember the first time I died.  I don't remember how or when it happened but I do know the cause.  We had just hit an armored car with a mortar that missed its mark by only a few yards.  The car was fitted with the finest .50 caliber machine gun to ever grace the top of a hummer /slash/ jeep /slash/ car.  It was blown off the side of the road and the occupants raced out.
"Who's following them?"  someone shouted pointing to the bamboo grass more than six feet high.
"Not me," I responded officially electing myself to track three armed idiots (in some places, volunteering to not volunteer meant you were volunteering).
The last thing I remember from our blue and green dome that flys through the universe at 30,000+ mph was a rifle crack.  Then I left the earth behind.
I didn't wake up I just instantly transitioned to another planet.  A man wearing white cloak asked me for a password.  I told this Gandolphian citizen that I had none.  He punched me squarely in the face and everything went black. 
Almost a second later I could see again.  I was now on a planet shrouded in darkness and it was cold.  God it was cold.  The only light was from little raindrops of hot ash.  In the distance I could hear laughing.  A horrible laughter that can't be described by words.  One that runs a chill up your spine. 
The raindrops of fire were ice cold when they hit my body.  I tried to swat them away but there were so many that it was useless.  I saw an old friend of mine only a few feet away.  He was trying to speak but blood was coming out of his mouth and it silenced his words.  His body was sizzling and I smelt it burning.  Sizzling flesh is not a smell you forget.
I wondered how his body could be smoking when the rain was freezing.  For a moment I wished that my body was almost on fire because I could not stop shaking.
When I look back on my experience I wonder how I didn't notice his suffering.  My old friend was in inexplicable pain.
Then I felt a pain of my own.  There was a medic gazing into my eyes while another checked my vital signs.  I had lost a pulse for almost 3 minutes and was very short on blood.  The shell that lodged in my shoulder felt like it was on fire.
Uploaded 11/12/2012
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Tags: earth