An old guy goes into his doctors surgery, walks up to reception and says 'I need to see a doctor about a problem with my dick'.

'Sorry sir,' replies the mild mannered receptionist, 'please don't use such language and try asking again'.

'OK', he says, 'I have a problem with my ear'.

'What sort of problem do you have with your ear?' she asks.

'It hurts when I piss out of it'.