Amber Heard's Turd Photos Finally Released to the Public

nootens Published 07/15/2020 in Gross

In the ongoing saga of Johnny Depp and Amber Heard's trial, today's the day we've all been waiting for. The day we finally get to see the pile of poop Amber left on their bed and which effectively ended their marriage.

There's been much speculation about the turd's origin, as Amber claimed it was actually left by one of their dogs, while Johnny was adamant the deuce was property of his ex-wife.

Their former housekeeper, Hilda Vargas, photographed the smoking doo-doo and took the stand today to testify that it was human feces.

Thanks to a diligent court reporter in London, we have the full transcript of Hilda's testimony and every possible detail of #PoopGate.

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1.
The Amber Turd, in all its glory.
2.
Lots of details to notice here so pay attention.
3.
First are the apparent water stains on the sheet around the turd, suggesting it could have been fished from the toilet and plopped on the bed before being slightly smeared.
4.
Second is its size. Seems much too small too come from this kind of dog.
5.
What follows are all the details about the woman who took the turd shots, Hilda Vargas.
6.
Hilda was pretty bummed on the turd.
7.
Although the dogs had pooped in the house before, it was always on the floor.
8.
Also, Hilda claims the dogs couldn't get on top of the bed.
9.
She also reaffirms the turd's rather large size.
10.
And finally, the fact that the turd had been left there in a reasonable timeframe.
11.
She will never live this down.
12.
And now time for some memes...
13.
14.
15.
16.

1.
The Amber Turd, in all its glory.
2.
Lots of details to notice here so pay attention.
3.
First are the apparent water stains on the sheet around the turd, suggesting it could have been fished from the toilet and plopped on the bed before being slightly smeared.
4.
Second is its size. Seems much too small too come from this kind of dog.
5.
What follows are all the details about the woman who took the turd shots, Hilda Vargas.
6.
Hilda was pretty bummed on the turd.
7.
Although the dogs had pooped in the house before, it was always on the floor.
8.
Also, Hilda claims the dogs couldn't get on top of the bed.
9.
She also reaffirms the turd's rather large size.
10.
And finally, the fact that the turd had been left there in a reasonable timeframe.
11.
She will never live this down.
12.
And now time for some memes...
13.
14.
15.
16.