While three decades have passed since six-year-old pageant queen JonBenét Ramsey was killed in the basement of her family’s Boulder, Colorado home on Christmas day in 1996, countless true crime fans are still grappling with burning questions from the case that horrified America.
Was there actually a break-in on that fateful winter night? Was the now-infamous ransom note — one asking for the exact amount of JonBenét’s father’s holiday bonus — actually penned by her parents? Was JonBenét’s older brother, Burke, the real culprit behind her death?
While we may not have the answers to any of those questions — we’re professional shittposters, not forensic experts — we finally have the cringe-inducing update that approximately no one has been waiting for: The basement where JonBenét was thought to have been murdered has apparently gotten Property Brother-ed.
Real estate creator @zillowtastrophes recently headed to TikTok with an unusual foray into the world of true crime, revealing that the Ramsey family’s former home has not only hit the market for nearly $7 million but the basement where JonBenét is thought to have been murdered has been converted into a quaint, Instagrammable wine tasting area.
JonBenét Ramsey's Colorado home listed for $7 million | Fox Business https://t.co/3rgcoJuGVJ
— KatWhitman (@Mile_by_Mile) October 28, 2023
Alongside transforming the basement from “a series of storage rooms” to “one big open entertainment center,” the fateful corner where the murder is believed to have gone down has gotten a particularly hefty overhaul.
“Downstairs in the basement where many think the crime occurred, it’s been completely renovated. In this room, the new owners put in a wine cellar,” she explained while showing side-by-side images comparing the property’s Zillow listing to the now-infamous crime scene photos.
@zillowtastrophes There were no footprints in the snow… ❄️ Listing link in bio. #truecrime #jonbenetramsey #whokilledjonbenét #realestate #zillowtastrophe #hauntedhouse #crimescene #bouldercolorado #greenscreen #greenscreenvideo ♬ Spooky, Quiet, Scary Atmosphere Piano - Bucyrus Audio
But even with these major renovations, real estate enthusiasts were not sold on spending 7 figures on a house synonymous with one of America’s most harrowing killings.
“Excuse me?!? A wine cellar in the MURDER ROOM,” @issameils commented on the now-viral TikTok.
“There’s no way people actually sit in that basement,” speculated @hrachel_, while @metaphysicalafofficial denounced the newly-created wine cellar as being “haunted af.”
And they’re not wrong. To paraphrase @Klrqueen137’s incredibly astute observation, maybe the biggest crime was the home’s half-assed updating.
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