For the past week, the internet has learned that men think about the Roman Empire a lot more often than anyone could have possibly predicted. While some men say they rarely think about it at all and others claim to be consumed by thoughts of the Roman Republic instead, the reality is that the Roman Empire occupies a significant amount of mental real estate for many men around the world. That, or it’s all an elaborate prank on women. (I haven’t ruled that out yet.)
This revelation prompted many women to do some soul-searching in order to answer the question, “What’s the female equivalent of the Roman Empire?” Many suggestions were thrown out: Princess Diana, Greek mythology, the Salem Witch Trials, the Titanic, but one TikToker uncovered the real answer: her ex-best friend.
Guaranteed same results as asking Husband how often he thinks about Roman Empire♬ original sound - Torijjensen
Tori Jensen was asked by her husband how often she thinks about her ex-best friend, to which she responded, “Probably every other day.” In the caption, she wrote, “Guaranteed same results as asking Husband how often he thinks about Roman Empire,” which prompted a flood of responses agreeing that we’d finally identified the female version of thinking about the Roman Empire.
Commenters bared their souls, with one person writing, “at least roman empire didn’t decide one day to stop talking to you and forget all the memories u made together ,” while another, more sobering comment, read, “I dream about her, it’s weird but it’s like my subconscious is still used to being friends with them.”
@samanthamarie.s #stitch with @Torijjensen i have no words #romanempire ♬ original sound - Samantha
Many argued that thinking about people you’re no longer friends with is still far more normal than regularly thinking about the Roman Empire. As one person noted, “Ok but like did he speak to the Roman Empire every day for 15 years??” Someone else added, “Ok but they were practically sisters with the Roman Empire.”
One commenter decided she’d cracked the code: “Now I get it. Men see the Roman Empire as an unbreakable brotherhood that somehow managed to be broken against all odds ,” which, although a nice thought, is ultimately a stretch, not least because describing an empire as a brotherhood is downright bizarre.
If nothing else, at least women might be able to reach out to their Roman Empire one day and try to bury the hatchet; men are not so fortunate. That said, after all of this, I wouldn’t be surprised if the first man to successfully travel through time went back to try and save the Roman Empire from ruin, even if it meant fundamentally altering the course of human history.