Are you familiar with the Balloon Phrase Guy? Just in case you blessedly missed this dude, Balloon Phrase Guy (BPG) is actually a man in Portland named Michael James Schneider.


Schneider describes himself as a writer and artist. While his writing is admittedly good, the piece of “art” for which he’s best known is a series in which he writes messages in balloons on a wall and smugly stands next to them. I know, art!


Just over five years ago, he posted the first photo of this series, showing himself smiling and looking off into the distance under letters that read “I JUST POOPED AT WORK.” In the years since, this balloon thing, whatever it is, has completely taken over his Instagram feed, shifting in tone from simple messages to motivational phrases rife with 2012 Tumblr snark.




This man is 50 years old.


Anyway, we may finally be seeing the popping of Schneider’s inflatable empire. Last week, Schneider took to another gentrified neighborhood to hang balloons on a wall and snap his picture in front of them. The only problem? The phrase-of-the-day he chose was “EVERY CITY HAS A GROUP OF SLUTS WHO THINK THEY’RE LOCAL CELEBRITIES.”



Apparently, Schneider didn’t get the memo about light misogyny not being cool anymore, or the other memo about how self-identified sluttiness is having a moment right now. Commenters were quick to, as commenters do, call him out. “Didn’t expect misogyny from this account,” said a user. “I got called a slut last week at a gas station, by some stranger dude I wouldn’t talk to. I did not feel like a celebrity,” added another.


A few users also pointed out that the meme account he took the quote from — I know, he doesn’t even write the things! — has posted some statements that these commenters found sexist or misogynistic as well. For example, a recent post reads, “So tired of hoes acting like they not hoes.” Where’s the balloon wall for that?



Seeing this reaction, Schneider didn’t delete the post but instead claimed he used that quote as it “applied it to my own lived experience as a queer person.” “I do still resonate with the quote, as a queer person who has battled (and sometimes embraced) the stereotype of the ‘gay slut’ literally my entire life,” he continued.


I’m sorry, but as Twitter user @elBunj stated, I’m not going to accept an apology unless it’s written in balloons. Get pumping, Mikey!