A low-quality meme posted by No Context Humans on Twitter has opened a serious can of worms, with users asking an incredibly important question: If a man has a noticeable bulge, does that actually mean he has a small penis?


The meme in question shows two men, one with a small penis and a noticeable bulge, and another with a larger penis and no bulge at all. The caption reads, “Never judge a book by its cover.”



With the caveat that size isn’t everything and nobody cares about your penis size as much as you think they do, let’s try and uncover an answer to this question.


A quick Google search shows that it’s one many have sought to answer across numerous internet forums throughout the years. Over on Girls Ask Guys, one girl asked, “If a guy doesn’t have a bulge does that mean he has a small dick?” to which one man, considered a “Guru” by the forum, answered, “No. Most men don’t even have bulges. A good 90% of men are growers — meaning that they are tiny when non erect, but much bigger when erect.” Another man, with the status of “Yoda,” added, “i think girls (are) disillusioned by underwear models who do wear special things to make a nice symmetrical bulge.”



This is true — like many aspects of fashion, male underwear photoshoots aren’t all that they appear, with one model revealing that they’re required to wear silicone rings and velcro straps to ensure their bulges look as aesthetically pleasing as possible.


Unsurprisingly, many men have also taken to Reddit to obtain an answer to this question. One asked for advice on a male fashion subreddit because the high resting position of his small penis makes a noticeable bulge in his pants, which he worries makes it look like he has an erection at all times. On the other end of the spectrum, over on r/bigdickproblems, a guy wanted to know if any other well-endowed men had relatively small bulges, and posited that bulge size has more to do with the size of one’s testicles than the size of one’s penis. Which: Fascinating hypothesis!



Despite the general interest in this subject, not much actual research has been conducted, most likely because, as stated above, nobody cares about this as much as you think they do.