Though video footage may have proven that one man did not steal any packages, the angry boomer on the other end of the mailing address wasn’t sold — so much so that she stormed his workplace, demanding he return the allegedly stolen package.

“I am not happy!” the woman screamed in what may easily be the understatement of the century.

“I’m tempted to check your pockets! In fact I’m calling the police,” she continued, whipping out her phone.

After several minutes of howling, the woman decided to reverse roles, demanding the man in question prove that he didn’t manage to slip a box into his pants pockets.

“Empty your f—king pockets!” she yelled, her face turning a deeper shade of red with each word.

“I’m not emptying nothing!” he fired back, a statement he stood by until the woman was ultimately escorted out of the lobby.

So take it from this mail meltdown: While porch pirates may walk — and loot drop — among us, this man is most certainly not one of them.