Recently, the nation of Japan made headlines after it announced that it would be dumping nuclear wastewater directly into the Pacific Ocean. How much nuclear wastewater? About a million goddamn tons.
Naturally, people became upset by this announcement. While the country insists that this is totally safe (promise!), others hold the controversial belief that pouring radioactive material into the ocean is bad. Many have said that the waste could pose a danger to wildlife in particular. A senior Chinese official reportedly called the move a risk “to all mankind,” and when the Japanese government claimed that the water is safe enough to drink, South Korea’s opposition leader called their bluff and said they should use it as drinking water.
Managing this issue is bound to be difficult for any country engaged in relations with Japan. However, U.S. Ambassador to Japan Rahm Emanuel has a solution: He’s gonna eat the radioactive fish.
First, you’re not alone — I also didn’t know that Rahm Emanuel is the ambassador to Japan. Second, this is literally the plot to an episode of The Simpsons. And finally, surely there’s a better way to show your commitment, right? No one is going to fault you for not eating the (possibly glowing) fish.
Regardless, it seems like he’s actually going to do it. “Emanuel said he will meet with local fishermen, residents and officials during the visit, which is intended to ‘physically show support and then to express confidence in the process that Japan has methodically pursued,’" reads a piece in Kyodo News. “Emanuel said his itinerary includes eating fish caught in the area at a restaurant, visiting a seafood market and being with the city’s mayor.”
On Reddit, users noted that the water is likely safe, with one explaining, “For the last decade, scientists from all over the world have been collectively working on this problem to make the water safe. The water is literally sea water with a little extra tritium. Tritium itself being naturally accruing anyway. But tritium is radioactive! However, it’s weak beta radiation (same thing as bananas). You would need to consume a huuuge amount of seawater (or bananas) to experience any side effects from it.”
However, something pesky like “the truth” won’t stop me or anyone else from laughing at the idea of Rahm Emanuel eating some radioactive sashimi. Heck, maybe he should wash it all down with some nice, locally caught Fugu fish.