Though straight men may have a terrible reputation for not cleaning their nether regions, they are apparently far from alone when it comes to hitting the streets with dirty bums.
TikTok comedian @isatandstared recently got a little too candid about her bathroom habits, revealing that she had stopped wiping after doing her business … specifically, for Jesus.
TIKTOKER DOESN’T WIPE HER BUM pic.twitter.com/T3oQQgOFIE— DramaAlert (@DramaAlert) September 29, 2023
"So I actually don't wipe my bum,” she confessed in a video shared to her page earlier this month. "When you think about it in nature, no other animal wipes after they use the restroom. So why do we do that?"
Though one could easily think of a million replies — namely, not being disgusting — it appears any argument would pale in comparison to her main motivation.
“If God wanted us to wipe after we use the restroom, we would have a built-in way to do that into our anatomy, you know what I mean?" she asked, noting that she’s taken up using a litter box rather than a human toilet, a decision she claims has had some surprising upsides.
"Now I know correlation is not causation but, you know, I feel like my immune system has like, been built up since I stopped wiping," she said, denouncing the “chemicals” of toilet paper … as though the germs of actual s—t are any better for the immune system.
Though @isatandstared ultimately clarified that her account was a satire page, we can only hope she was joking about this — both for the sake of those around her and the fact that we don’t know if we can survive another round of anal hygiene Twitter discourse.