In what I sincerely hope is a particularly disturbing creative-writing exercise, a man recently took to the r/RedScarePod subreddit to share tales of his latest dating exploit. It starts out strong, with the man introducing himself as “the guy who takes women on dates and annoys them,” and only gets better (or worse, depending on your perspective) from there.
He continues, “I have been really sad lately, so to cheer myself I matched with a girl on tinder and decided to try out this ‘wigger’ character I have been workshopping.” Truly, this is how all the greatest love stories start.
“I bought some jordans and some oversized shirt and jeans and picked her up blasting ‘mafia n*****’ by 3 6 mafia. I had it on loop, and I drove her to restaurant that was 20 miles away. The restaurant is chilis. After the third loop, she asked if she could switch songs and i just turned up the volume and said, ‘nah, I needs to get in my zone, pimp.’”
“I also finished every sentence with ‘pimp’ or ‘nah i’m sayin.’ When we got to the restaurant, I ordered a ton of food — like $80 worth and even casually ate out of her plate sometimes. I then whipped out a flask and said I had lean in it and kept telling her to try it, knowing she wouldn’t. I then told her I had to go to the bathroom and just left the restaurant.”
He concluded the post by saying, “Made me feel so much better. I needed that.”
Commenters were divided, with many agreeing it was probably fake, or at least hoping it was. One asked if she was a good sport about it, to which OP responded with a surprising amount of self-awareness, “How would you feel if some obnoxious wigger took you on the worst date of your life and left you at the restaurant with a $90 bill and like 20 miles from your house?”
Kinda says it all, actually.