No Nut November is officially nine years old, the same age I was when . . - well - you get the point.  So in celebration of NNN’s ninth birthday, we offer up a bit of advice to this young meme of a man. It’s time to start jerking off.  

The short, if you read nothing else, is that No Nut November is a low-quality meme, and in a year-or-two, if not already, will be more cringe than not. It brings nothing new to the table, as year-after-year, the same tired jokes are re-circulated as evergreen content. (Looks at Spooktober) 

It’s time for No Nut November to come to an end. 

No Nut November dates back to 2011, when Urban Dictionary user, @bicboi6969696969 submitted an entry on the challenge, stating if individuals wanted to partake they must abstain from masturbating for the full month of November. But it wasn’t until 2017 that the meme went mainstream. 

On November 1st, the viral tweet, “Not even a day into No Nut November and I've already beat my meat like it owes me money” propelled NNN into mainstream attention. 

The origins however are not as cut and dry as when the Urban Dictionary entry was created, or which tweet went viral first. That shows when and where the meme crossed cultural boundaries but tells us nothing of its origin. Why No Nut November? For that, we open up a bit. 

No Nut November is a meme challenge that uses the NoFap ideology as a means to create a meme-worthy cause similar to No Shave November. It’s men’s health but with an anti-science punchline. NoFap has been misconstrued as a way for men to reclaim their masculinity by depriving themselves satisfaction. When in reality that isn’t exactly where it came from. 

Alexander Rhodes, a former Google programmer, and admitted porn addict founded NoFap dot com in 2011 as an online resource for men struggling with porn addiction. Rhodes who founded the site as a service to help men with their “porn overuse and compulsive sexual behavior” is one of two honest characters in this story. 

The difference between porn addiction and what NoFap has become synonymous with, thanks to alt-right groups like the Proud Boys, who strictly limit their members' masturbation habits, is intent. Rhodes’ intent was to help men who masturbated too much, not men who didn’t. 

This is where No Nut November comes in. A meme to ease the tension, to reclaim the punchline. We needed NNN (No Nut November) to reclaim men jerking off and to make fun of those, and ourselves, who decided not to for 30 days. But it needed to be more than just a singular meme, it needed to be a challenge. Enter No Shave November. 

The other honest actor in this story is Matthew Hill, the man who inspired the men’s health challenge ‘No Shave November’ after he died from Colon cancer in 2007. Hill’s family started a Facebook campaign in 2009, urging men to grow their facial hair for the month of November to help bring attention to men’s health, and specifically Matthew Hill. 

I was surprised to learn the origins of No Shave November, having myself thought it the ill-conceived brainchild of some shaving cream marketing company. A Facebook post, how fitting. The difference between the NSN (No Shave November) and NNN (No Nut November) is you can tell when someone is doing NSN. Not because they’ll post about it, they will, as is the point of challenges, but because the proof is growing on their face. 

I’m not a psychologist, but replacing tenable actions with false ambiguity is why meme challenges like No Nut November feel empty, How do I know if you’re really doing it? Because honestly, I don’t give a shit if you are. 

According to health experts, the health benefits of abstaining from masturbation are pseudo-science. In fact, there is more proof that masturbating is beneficial for you if done in some moderation. 

Men who masturbate almost 21 times per-month have a 20% lower risk of getting Prostate cancer than men who masturbated less than 4-7 times per month. 

Besides the other positive side effects is should be clear that masturbating is a good thing and something that we can joke about without beating the same dead horse every November. 

It’s played out. 

No one cares. 

Let it go. 

We know you aren’t following through on it. 

Even Porn Hub knows it. 

So please shut the hell up about how you abstain from touching your shriveled little pickle and get on with your life. 

No Nut November ends now, we are declaring this meme bust.