It’s lonely out there for pirates in Oklahoma. At least, that’s how it seems according to a recent string of Reddit posts from u/blewis2008.

Across a series of increasingly desperate posts discovered by Twitter user @paynushurts, our pirate hero and his wife seek mates to sail the high seas of… wherever there are high seas in Oklahoma, I guess.

Here’s how it all went down: At first, blewis2008 tried the surprisingly active r/Pirates. “My wife and I starting a pirate group in oklahoma,” his first post reads. “We looking (for) those brave enough to join the crew of the wicked fate. We a pirate group for larp, ren fairs, cosplay and historical pirate events. Those interested dm me.”

While there was some enthusiasm in the comments, the lack of any Oklahomans left our poor seafarer high and dry. Undeterred, he set sail and created r/piratecosplayoklahoma. To christen this new vessel, he unleashed four different posts, each laying out his and his wife’s desire for crewmates on their (fictional?) ship, the Wicked Fate.

“All are welcome to join. Race, gender, sexual orientation will all be welcomed,” he stated in his initial post to the subreddit. His second post strikes a similar tone, noting that the group plans to go to “ren fairs, cosplay events, larp games and pirate reenactment events.” A later post asks users what kind of pirate they’d like to be. Another demands that potential recruits list their “real word skills that you feel would help the crew as a whole.”

None of these posts have any comments.

Seemingly not ready to take down the sails, blewis2008’s tacked his ship and docked in the ports of r/LARP, and this time, he went in with all the gusto that being a pirate in 2023 presumably requires.

“Will there be cake and rum?” asked a user.

“Nope just blood and glory,” declared our hero.

So if you’re in Oklahoma, have even the slightest desire to be a pirate and crave the aforementioned “blood and glory,” please, for the love of Blackbeard, send blewis2008 a DM.