Every day, police have to put out press releases pleading with people not to do things that are plainly stupid. Recently, the cops had to make another addition to that storied list: Please, please, please don’t climb into toilets.

What inspired this strange, seemingly obvious request? According to police, a Michigan woman was using an outhouse when, oh no, her Apple Watch fell into a big, warm pile of sewage.

Rather than simply kiss the Apple Watch goodbye like any normal person, she opted to climb down into the pit — promptly getting stuck in the piss-and-shit muck.

“The woman was heard yelling for help and told first responders she had dropped her Apple Watch in the toilet,” the police said in a statement cited by NBC. “She then lowered herself inside the toilet to retrieve it and could not get out.”

Getting the woman out of the toilet was no easy task. According to police, “Conservation Officers from the Michigan Department of Natural Resources, troopers from the Michigan State Police Gaylord Post and Otsego County EMS” were all required to remove the woman from the depths of the outhouse.

Eventually, the group used a strap to “hoist the woman out to safety.”

As a result of this incident, the police reminded people that, “If you lose an item in an outhouse toilet, do not attempt to venture inside the containment area,” presumably written after loudly groaning and pulling out several chunks of their hair.

For the curious, the woman did actually retrieve her Apple Watch — though the watch, and the woman herself, will probably never be the same again. Talk about a shitty situation!