Capitalism has a lot to answer for, but one of the worst things it’s given us has to be meaningless corporate buzzwords used by people who describe themselves as Thought Leaders and post earnestly on LinkedIn.


@courageousleadership Replying to @Kerfuffely it’s honestly worse than I thought! I present to you the top 50 worst corporate jargon phrases… #corporatehumor #managersbelike ♬ original sound - Robyn L Garrett


One helpful TikToker, Robyn L. Garrett, who herself is a CEO and thus uniquely positioned to give us an insight into the minds of her fellow CEOs analyzed over 15,000 comments in an effort to establish the Top 50 Worst Corporate Buzzwords, so let’s dive in.


The list starts out with “close the loop,” which was suggested by commenters 29 times, and other examples from the bottom 10 include “What’s the ask?” and “All hands on deck,” which I’m pretty sure was appropriated from the sailing community.


@courageousleadership Replying to @The Three Amigos top 50 worst corporate jargon phrases 31-40 #corporatejargon #corporatehumor ♬ original sound - Robyn L Garrett


@courageousleadership Replying to @Miserable and Old it only gets worse! Here’s 21-30 #corporatejargon #corporatehumor ♬ original sound - Robyn L Garrett


Other examples include dreaded “KPIs,” “Teamwork makes the dream work,” “deliverables” and “agile,” as well as “boil the ocean,” something that takes on an entirely different meaning if you’re a fish, but apparently refers to trying to do something that’s impossible. I dunno, I reckon we’ll probably see the ocean boil in our lifetimes if climate change continues.


@courageousleadership Replying to @Whiskey Tickles worst corporate jargon 11-20! #corporatejargon #corporatehumor ♬ original sound - Robyn L Garrett


Getting into the top 20, there’s “unpack,” “touch base” and “lean in,” which I’m sure will be absolutely devastating for Sheryl Sandberg. We can’t forget “paradigm shift,” “deep dive” or “put a pin in it” either, all of which were a hair’s breadth away from making it into the top 10.


@courageousleadership Replying to @ it’s coming!! #corporatejargon #corporatehumor ♬ original sound - Robyn L Garrett


And now the moment you were waiting for: the top 10. We’ve got “leverage,” we’ve got “take this offline,” we’ve got “pivot,” which has the added problem of reminding people of the worst Friend, Ross Geller.


@courageousleadership Replying to @Keith Overbay here you go! Top 5 worst corporate jargon phrases THANK YOU and also I’m sorry #corporatejargon #corporatehumor ♬ original sound - Robyn L Garrett


Getting into the top five, these are examples that were suggested by at least 300 people each, and they are: “We’re like a family,” “Low-hanging fruit,” “bandwidth,” and “synergy,” a word that I’m pretty sure is only ever used by CEOs and literally nobody else. Garrett herself describes it as a word that’s so overused she can’t take it seriously, so there’s at least one CEO who doesn’t use it, I suppose.


As for the number one spot, that honor went to “circle back,” which was identified by 996 commenters as their most-hated corporate buzzword, compared to synergy with only 581 commenters.


It’s official: If you use any of these words, but particularly “circle back,” your employees are definitely laughing at you behind your back.