It’s the middle of January and baseball fans everywhere have to find something to think about to keep their minds off of their sad snow-covered yards. (Unless you’re a Dodgers fan on your winter honeymoon in Japan, you hoarding little loser.) 

Fortunately, baseball has the richest history of any of the North American major sports, and nerds like myself can spend their time reveling in stats of years gone by, learning about teams like the 1889-1899 Cleveland Spiders.

Speaking of Cleveland baseball, just two years ago Indians fans were reconciling with their team’s new name; The Guardians. It’s not the most creative name, and it led Reddit user JTCMuehlenkamp to pose the question, “What if every team was named after the most abundantly populated animal in their geographical area?”

What if every team was named after the most abundantly populated animal in their geographical area?
byu/JTCMuehlenkamp inbaseball

“I can't help but wonder what animal mascots would best represent the cities or states their teams reside in,” he wrote. “Take the Tigers for example. When you think of Detroit, you do not think of a jungle ruled over by apex feline predators.”

But after a bit of thinking, he quickly realized that it would be an exercise of repetition. Here is a recent TikTok reaction to his findings.

@princemolder

do you like your city's new Mascot?

♬ original sound - Prince Molder

Personally, I think the New York Ants would be more aptly represented as the Concrete Jungle Cockroaches, but that’s just me. However, plenty of viewers were quick to point out that ants aren’t even the correct choice when it comes to each region’s most populous animal.

“Ants is a good answer, but the correct one is nematodes, Yumi commented. “Worms all the way down.”

Yep, that’s right. If you wanted to rename every major sports franchise with the most common animal of its region, the answer is always going to be semi-microscopic worms.

You know, maybe the Guardians isn’t all that bad.