Throwback to one of the most amazing videos to ever grace the internet. With that swing and follow through, get this man an MLB contract yesterday.
The video also inspired us to collect a variety of convenience store items that can be used as self-defense weapons, in addition to a can of Twisted Tea.
Salt and Vinegar Chip Dust - More like death powder. We've seen what this substance can do to the human tongue. One handful of this stuff to an attacker's eye, and they'll be rendered totally powerless.
6 Pack to the Sack - In the likely scenario that your attacker is male, grab the closest six-er you can find and launch it directly into his nut-sack. It doesn't feel good, and he'll look like an idiot.
Mentos and Coke Cocktail - Much like its cousin the Molotov Cocktail, Mentos and Coke truly is the ultimate defense weapon in any gas station stand-off.
'Hangover' 1 & 2 DVD Combo Disc - If you're really in a bind, make your way over to the DVD section and find the dual collection of 'The Hangover.' Remove the disc (there's probably only one) and throw it frisbee-style at your attacker.
These are just some of the useful ways we at eBaum's World are striving to keep you safe. Good luck out there and Happy National Iced Tea Day.