Trump recently took a break from (allegedly) cheating at golf, shilling NFTs, and attempting to mansplain the McDonald’s menu to cashiers in a crisis zone, to perfect his evil (sick) nickname for his primary opponent, Republican Florida governor, Ron DeSantis.

Nearly four months into Trump’s second re-election bid, the vibe at his Mar-a-Lago compound in Palm Beach, Fla., has been all about the Floridian lawmaker … who boldly asks the question of “what if Geodude wished to be a real boy and then became a raging homophobe.”

Alongside attempting to dig up DeSantis’ dirty laundry and lamenting his souring romance with Fox News — “FoxNews is promoting Ron DeSanctus so hard and so much that there’s not much time left for Real News,” Trump recently wrote on Truth Social — 45 has evidently dedicated quite a bit of time to workshopping the perfect nickname for his newly-minted foe.

“Trump, allies say, seems set on ‘Ron DeSanctimonious,’ even though others around him don’t think it’s a bullseye,” wrote Bloomberg’s White House Correspondent, Nancy Cook, who broke the story earlier this week.

Though the aforementioned “DeSanctimonious” has largely emerged as the winning nickname, a few other contenders have emerged in recent days, namely  “Ron DisHonest,” “Ron DeEstablishment” and “Tiny D.”


Hey, if anyone (allegedly) knows anything about Tiny D’s, it’s Trump — just ask Stormy Daniels.

All dick jokes aside, it’s important to note that DeSantis has remained largely tight-lipped on any Oval Office aspirations. After all, the speculation surrounding a potential White House run is just that —as John Oliver recently pointed out Jeb (!) Bush was also dubbed an early 2016 frontrunner and all he got was “please clap.”

If we can offer our advice on the debate: Tiny D is solid, but Meatball Ron, that’s money.