Though some brides insist that their bridesmaids sport identical makeup, hairstyles, and dresses that they will definitely, 100% wear again, one wife-to-be took her desire for uniformity to new heights, demanding that one of her bridesmaids have a mole removed for her big day.
The bridesmaid in question, Redditor u/RudeLab9732, took to r/AmITheAsshole in search of clarity on this spotty situation, asking if they would be in the wrong if they opted to ignore the bride.
“I have a mole on my right cheek, kind of near my nose. It's not huge, but it's definitely noticeable,” she began her post, shared on Friday morning. “Zoe explained that she wanted everyone to look good in the wedding photos as well as on the wedding day (understandable) and that the mole on my face would be a distraction, and that I wouldn't look good in the photos.”
Though Zoe offered to comp the cost of the procedure — “She said that she would pay for the surgery out of pocket, as she could afford it, and all I would have to do is go in and get it removed,” u/RudeLab9732 added — she wasn’t initially sold.
“I'm really conflicted on this because I have had times where I've been insecure about my mole, and Zoe wasn't lying when she said that it distracts from my face,” she continued, countering that removing her mole “may be better in the long run.” Even so, she still expressed uncertainties about having “such a procedure done to my face.”
“Zoe is my friend, and more importantly, she's the bride and I want her to have the best day, which is why I think I may be the asshole if I didn't go through with it,” she concluded. “Would I be wrong if I didn't get the mole on my face removed?”
Despite her concerns, the people of Reddit had a much clearer view on her question — u/RudeLab9732 was most definitely not the a-hole.
“NTA. What if her surgeon leaves you with a big scar? What a sense of entitlement she has,” commented u/Diligent_Read8195. “These bridezillas are getting out of control. I would say no & save the $ you were going to spend as a bridesmaid.”
“Omg NTA,” added self-described “asshole enthusiast” u/LiesTricks. “She's asking you to have plastic surgery because she thinks you are to ugly for a wedding pic. That is insanely rude and over entitled, the fact that she is a bride is completely irrelevant. I mean what was the alternative? A bag over your head?”
Meanwhile, u/ComfyColor denounced the request as “arbitrary and shallow”
“I’d tell her to get f—ked, and not go,” they wrote.
u/Pope00, however, took a more nuanced approach, asking OP to explore whether the procedure would be something they’d ultimately want for themselves.
“NTA, Jesus Christ. Imagine a bride saying ‘hey Stacy, I know we're besties, but I don't want you in the bridal party because you're a big uggo and you're fat and you'll ruin the photos.’ That's psychotic. Your friend would be an asshole if they simply asked you to lose 5lbs for the wedding. We're talking actual surgery. Is it even that noticeable? Like size of a quarter or larger?” they asked.
But their denunciation of a-holery came with a notable caveat.
“If it's something you feel insecure about and you'd like to get surgery, your friend is still an asshole, but you can get some free surgery out of it,” they added. “And if you're insecure that might help you feel better about yourself in the future, I guess?”
u/Spare-Article-396 had a similar take on the matter.
“I am horrified for you. This is not a friend,” they said, noting that supermodel Cindy Crawford shot to fame in part for her iconic mole. “Now that being said, this is just my petty side talking…if you actually want it removed, I’d let her pay, and then drop out of her wedding, and never speak to her again.”
We can only hope that OP gets to keep her mole — and convinces her fellow bridesmaids to sport matching ones on Zoe’s big day.