Ahead of the release of The Iron Claw next month, the internet’s favorite white boy Jeremy Allen White recently participated in a sporty photoshoot that saw him spend more than five minutes outside a kitchen for once.
The Iron Claw, which also stars Zac Efron, is a biopic about wrestler Kevin Von Erich and his family; Efron plays Kevin, while White plays his younger brother Kerry. While buzz around the movie is decent, particularly considering White’s popularity as a result of his role as Carmy Berzatto on The Bear and the fact it’s being distributed by A24, one Twitter user wanted to address a far more pressing concern: What happened to White’s bulge?
What happened to a good ol American bulge? Not an ounce of cock or balls. PASS pic.twitter.com/beZV9fgana— Margaretsnatchr (@margaretsnatchr) November 7, 2023
In the photo, White is dressed as a 1970s-era wrestling coach, an obvious reference to the upcoming film. He’s wearing a white vest and tight red shorts, and considering how tight the shorts are, Twitter user margaretsnatchr had to ask, “What happened to a good ol American bulge?” before adding, “ Not an ounce of cock or balls. PASS.”
Ouch. Poor Jeremy.
One reply suggested that White was tucking. Another user suggested that the problem lay with the nature of the shorts’ material, adding, “It’s also why you don’t see bulges with good quality wet suits.”
Others jokingly blamed “woke culture” for the missing bulge, while a few other people decried GQ’s “Ken doll ass editing” for White’s concave crotch. Perhaps Ken doll crotches are seeing a resurgence following the success of the Barbie movie and Ryan Gosling’s excellent turn as Ken?
Paying this much attention to celebrity’s genitals probably isn’t healthy, ultimately — just ask the people embroiled in conspiracy theories about Taylor Swift being transgender because they’ve never actually seen a woman’s body before.