If you can read this thank a teacher, if it's in English thank a veteran. That's actually a sentence someone typed into Photoshop, turned neon green and gave a heavy dose of outer glow. What the hell has happened to us? Are we actually this stupid?
In all transparency, I found this meme on Chet Hanks Instagram page (Tom Hank's lesser son), so I know I'm scraping the barrel, but this is without a doubt a meme I have seen many times over the years and felt deserved a good tearing apart.
So, allow me to repeat myself for those in the back, "if you can read this thank a teacher, if it's in English, thank a veteran". Dumber words have never been written, not in English anyway.
"If you can read this", without a doubt the less moronic of the two statements and entirely unnecessary because, if say, I couldn't "read this" I wouldn't be. I would simply be dumb, and would without a doubt not be reading. Hence, having a statement which acts as a preface to a punchline, which would ultimately fall flat on dumb old me who can't read, is utterly pointless.
"And if it's in English, thank a veteran." Here we go again with the word if. If what? You're the one making the meme. Please, tell me, what language would it be in? I hope it's in English, I don't speak any other languages fluently. (I blame teachers for that)
"Thank a veteran" for what exactly? Hopefully not this dumbass meme. I pray a veteran didn't make this meme, oh god I pray that isn't true. Do I thank a veteran for the teacher that taught me English? Because if so that's at least a somewhat coherent train of thought. Something I can reason with, if only partially.
But what if the meme was in Swedish? Who do I thank then? Not that I would be able to read it. Can you see my point? How utterly nonsensical this meme is? Because, and I hate to say it, but what have veterans ever done for the English language?
I can't imagine there are many living veterans who have fought and died for THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE, a language spoken by over 1.7 Billion people. And I'm not trying to be a dick, really I'm not. I'm being quite serious.
I understand the meme implies that veterans fight to help maintain society and societies foundational cornerstones, be that language, and it's embarrassing to have waited this long to say this but, America does not have an official language. I understand what people want this meme to represent and a little how it makes them feel, but besides being insanely dumb, it's not even true.
If you can read this, and if this meme makes your little baby stones tingle, please explain yourself to me.