Taking a shit in a public restroom is always a nerve-racking experience. Will my ass have the privacy it needs to make wretched ungodly noises? Will it smell? How many layers of toilet covers do I need to lay down?


These are all relevant questions when considering a public restroom, and problems one would hope the country’s finest establishments have solved. Thankfully, Abbey is shitting in these bougie bathrooms so we don’t have to and rating her experiences on TikTok.


@abbeywwwww 4.3 out of 5 I know it was a lil messy but the marble made me swoon #gucci #gucciosteria #rodeodrive #luxury #michelin #michelinstar #fyp ♬ Blue Blood - Heinz Kiessling


“Come shit with me,” she says at the start of every video, before filming a short scoot of her feet, and the trip to the toilet. Abbey judges restrooms on a number of factors including space, amenities, and the quality of products. Nice toilet paper and soap are a must but seem to be features a surprising number of restrooms cut corners on. Yes, we’re looking at you Hermès.


@abbeywwwww Replying to @Trey very curious what you guys think of this one #hermes #hermesbirkin #hermeskelly #shittok #capcut #designerbathroom ♬ Blue Blood - Heinz Kiessling


“Your research is crucial. Thank you for your service,” one person commented on her Gucci review. “The content I never knew I needed, I sincerely thank you,” another complimented.


Abbey’s reviews are not without critics, however, as a few viewers are curious about flushes. “Everyone knows the key to any bathroom review includes a flush sound rating too,” one commenter urged. “Be better.” Abbey acknowledged the concern. “Thank you for the valid critique,” she said, “will improve moving forward.”


@abbeywwwww Yes I fully sit down on toilet seats #nobu #nobupaloalto #nobumalibu #sushi #michelin #michelinstar #fyp #foryoupage #designer #designerbathroom ♬ Blue Blood - Heinz Kiessling


However, as of her latest video, there has yet to be a flush included. “We crave the flush,” someone prodded. “Keep on craving on” she responded.


Abbey has no intentions of stopping her series and continues to take requests for posh poopers to review. Trips around the country, regular public bathroom reviews, and more in-depth synopsis are all on the table. But deluxe dumpers are certainly preferred. As Abbey puts it, “Life is too short to take shits in ugly places.”


@abbeywwwww This bathroom is giving apocalytic beach mixed with prison☹️ too bad cause it’s one of my favorite places to shop. And they’re always a little mean to me LOL so imma just stick to online #therealreal #losangeles #melroseave #bathroomreview #designer ♬ Blue Blood - Heinz Kiessling