Though history may have been a less-than-exciting subject in school, filled with tidbits about niche 19th-century land disputes ("Fifty-four forty or fight!") and Medieval Serfs’ penchant for wearing all wool everything, it seems our past is anything but.
Earlier this week, u/FlickTheSwitch167 took to r/AskReddit with a bold inquiry looking to find some more amusing – and often horrifying – facts about history.
“What Historical fact have you learnt that ruined everything you ever thought you knew about this life?” they asked in a post shared on Monday, April 10. The answer, it seems? A whole lot, namely, people thousands of years ago were just as horny and weird as we were.
“There are graffiti that got preserved in Pompei and Herculaneum. Because they didn't have paper, public announcements were directly painted on the walls,” u/chinchenping explained in a comment, noting that many of these messages were far from SFPPL (safe for Pompei public life).
“Some of those graffiti are on par with what you can find on the toilet's wall of trucker's stop. ‘I fucked the barmaid,’ ‘Felix fucks like a god,’ ‘Take off your clothes and show us your hairy privates,’” they continued.
This horniness wasn’t limited to the citizens of Pompei – just ask u/Dark_Azazel.
“Not really ruined, but have you read Ben Franklin's diaries and shit?” they wrote. “Dude was a dirty horn dog.”
But it’s not all fun and jerking off. Several users explained how surprised they were surrounding the gruesome, heartbreaking realities of our world.
“The more we find out about Native Americans, the more I realize the entire history of the United States is complete white-washed bullshit,” wrote u/Dredly.
“That history is written by the victors, so no matter how much history I read and study, and stories and myths, history is a jigsaw puzzle and somebody is holding on to the pieces that make it all fit, worst case they died with them,” u/bellmospriggans/