Coronavirus guide to safe sex - don't eat ass

A global pandemic has stopped the world in its tracks these last few weeks, but that shouldn't stop you from getting your rocks off. Over the weekend the NYC Department of health released a statment, educating the public on safe sex practices in the time of coronavirus titled, Sex and Coronavirus Disease 2019 (COVID-19).

So if you're like the rets of us and are a little unsure if you should meet up with that girl or guy in Tinder, we've got the answers. Here is your guide to getting laid in the time of the coronavirus. 

The first thing you need to do is wash your hands and to stay at home if you feel sick. Those are most important. Now in addition to the safe sex practices you should already know and keep, there are a few things you should know. 

1. Try not hooking up with people outside of your immediate social circle. This includes strangers and people off dating apps. Not to say you can't meet someone, just make sure they have limited their contact with others before you do. It's best to keep your circle as close as possible to limit your exposure to the virus. 

2. Learn to jerk off with your non-dominate hand. Seriously, right now you are your safest sexual partner. By just not having sex with anyone but yourself, you will surely not get nor will you spread COVID19. So righties, go lefty and lefties go right. 

3. No Eating Ass: Seriously guys, I know we all love eating the booty, that forbidden fudge, but for the next 12-18 months, that back hole is OFF limits! Scientists think COVID19 can spread through both mucus and fecal matter, so don't be kissing people you think might be sick and don't lick her booty, no matter how bad she begs. 

Now beyond those tips, please practice safe and hygienic sex. Wear condoms and make sure you get tested regularly. But most important, wash ya damn hands ya'll! 

Read NYC Health's statment on safe sex in the time of coronavirus. 

NYC Department of health's guide to sex during coronavirus

NYC Department of health's guide to sex during coronavirus