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Camping With Charlie

   I grew up in a very rural area.  There were lots of forests, rivers, and mountains surrounding my small community.  On weekends and nearly all summer long, my friends and I would go out to this one secluded spot and camp.  My best friend Charlie and I discovered this spot while hiking one day.  We told a few other friends about it and it became our hangout. 

   On one particular campout, we had brought along a few girls.  We were all about 13 and thought it would be cool to have a coed campout.  We were all having a blast...swimming in the river, drinking a few beers, making out, telling ghost stories, and stuffing ourselves with sugar.  It was awesome.  At one point, I had walked off into the bushes to take a leak.  So I'm out there doing my business.  All at once, I heard this awful roar and commotion from the thicket behind me.  I yanked up my pants and ran back to the camp.  I thought a damn bear was going to attack me.  Low and behold, it was my friend Charlie playing a little joke on me.  Unfortunately during the joke, I had not quite finished pissing yet.  So when I got back up near the camp fire, everyone was pointing and laughing at my pee soaked shorts.  Charlie, of course, laughed the hardest.  For the rest of the weekend, I was "Chief Pee Pants" to everyone.  I guess it was sort of funny and no one really ever talked about it after that weekend.

   As my friends and I got older, the campouts became less and less frequent and fewer and fewer friends showed up.  Charlie and I still loved it and were always the mainstays.  Even though we went to different colleges, we would meet up during the summer and have our campouts.  We graduated and got jobs.  The campouts grew farther apart.  We both started families and we wanted to share our experiences with our kids.  So we started camping out more.  It was great fun.

   The kids got older and the campouts subsided again.  Charlie and I would talk and promise to set up a weekend to have a campout.  It usually didn't happen.  Then last weekend we made it happen.  It was just Charlie and me.  Just like the old days.  We were both excited.  We got to our old spot and set everything up.  We still had some daylight left for a hike.  As we were hiking up a steep ridge, Charlie lost his footing and started to fall over the side.  I dove out for him and grabbed his hand just in time.  I was on my stomach hanging over the edge.  Charlie was holding my wrist and dangling over a hundred foot rock face.  Charlie said, "Holy Shit man!  Thank God you were here.  Can you pull me back up?"  I said, "Charlie, we've been friends a long time...I'm not going to let you die like this."  With that, I pulled him back up to safety.  We sat quiet for a minute.  Then we turned to each other a laughed a bit.  "Let's go back to camp." I said.  So we did.

   We sat up late that night and talked about all the good times we had in that spot.  I mentioned "Chief Pee Pants" to Charlie and he said, "Yeah...that was a little mean of me, huh?"  I said, "I was pissed at first, but it was funny."  We had another beer and then went to sleep.

   The next morning I got up early and made the coffee.  I had several cups and then heard Charlie getting up.  As he came out of the tent, I hit him on the back of the head with a piece of fire wood.  When he came to, he found himself in a bit of a predicament.  While he was knocked out, I had sat him in a wooden chair, stripped him naked, put his dick in a vise that was bolted to a tree, clamped it tight, and surrounded him in a three foot high circle of kerosene soaked firewood.  Dazed and confused Charlie said, "What the hell are you doing?"  He tried to stand but realized his dick was stuck.  I said, "I'm just playing a funny, little joke on you Charlie.  I hope it's as funny as the one you played on me."  I grabbed a pair of large side cuts from my truck and showed them to Charlie.  He said, "You psycho bastard!  What?  Are you going to cut my dick off?"  I calmly said, "No."  And I handed the side cuts to him.  Then I said, "I'm going to set this wood and tree on fire...you're going to cut your dick off."  As I walked away, I could smell that familiar smell of an early morning camp fire and it brought back fond memories.  

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