Challenge Answered

This one is going to be quite long so just bear with me here guys. I was challenged by the ever eloquent squaa to write a blog of excellence. He has spun many a tale and dazzled us with his expert word smithing. Squaa I am answering your challenge and I can only hope to have you satisfied by the tales I am about to spin. Getting on with the story, I had a great weekend. I spent the past two days out of state in Georgia and South Carolina. One of my best friends growing up graduated from Marine Corps boot camp this weekend. I could not miss this and so myself and my wife made the trip to Paris Island to see him get his eagle globe and anchor and earn his title. This was the first time in the six years we have been together that my wife and I were going out of state. Needless to say the week prior was full of bull crap that made leaving and having fun all the more sweet. I have given you all numerous rants about my job and let me tell you, this week has given me a few to unleash down the road. It was mainly the usual, Users being complete assholes, ding dings(props to the marine corps staff sergent who clued me in on these classifying words)that cant speak english, and to top it all, my cat was killed while I was at work by two dogs. I loved him and I miss him and that was a truly crappy day. We finally left town and started our trip into GA, savanna was only about a two hour drive and traffic was great all the way there as soon as we left the border. We were looking to be able to relax and have some privacy for a change and do the nasty as loud and slopily as possible. That was the plan anyways. We make it to the hotel and everything was great and the room looked fantastic. King sized bed with a foam mattress. Avert your eyes folks it was about to get nasty. As it turned out though, neither of us had eaten anything all day so the nasty would have to wait. It was around 9 when we walked into our restaurant of choice. We ate paid our bill, tipped the tallest lankiest waiter I have ever seen and headed back to the hotel. Boom, back in the room and into the shower. Things started to heat up quick.... looking back it could have just been because the water was set too hot. She seemed tired but I paid no attention, she went out and laid down on the bed, and she instantly fell asleep. wah wah waahhh. I just lost at plunko, or whatever the kids are calling it now a days. Damn those serta foam mattresses! Moving on we awoke early the next morning, I had to fight the mattress with all my strength to pry her from its grips. We ate breakfast at the hotel and found out that smuckers cannot make syrup to save their lives, It was thicker than caramel and stuck to everything. you had to chew it along with your waffle but it did taste great. We made it to Paris Island and let me first say I understand why a lot of marines stationed at Paris Island and Camp Lejune hate AT&T. I have no trouble with them in florida but as soon as you hit south carolina and head north a ways you have little to no service. I apologize for these rabbit trails I go off on but you all will get over them, because it is going to happen again. The thing about Paris Island is that it is a beautiful place but it is hell for each and every recruit to grace it with its presence for those thirteen weeks. If some of you cannot understand the what makes a marine a marine, I sincerely suggest you do some research. The marines are a seperate branch of the military because they have far higher standards and they hold far higher traditions. If you have never seen a graduation it is really something to see. 500 new marines sounding off to "good morning sir" is something that once you see it for the first time you actually shit bricks. The Corps will change you once you join. Honor courage and commitment. You hold your head high and proud. Dealing with those sand fleas for thirteen weeks will make you a hard ass real quick. The first thing my buddie did when he was dismissed is mess with a new recruit. As soon as he was off the parade deck; there he was fucking with a recruit on day ten. Great stuff. The DI's are some of the hardest marines alive. They exonerate the title of Marine in their every action. The saying goes, A DI can take you and quarterdeck you all day and you will be worn out for 5 min. Senior will quarterdeck you for 5 min and you will be worn out all day. As I said before, if you have never made it to Paris Island once in your life. It is a place to see, It is beautiful but for the recruits it is truly a hell. The title is earned after those thirteen weeks and you will be a Marine for the rest of your life. Once a marine always a marine. oo-rah Now that I have Kaustic all teary eyed, I will move on. We made it back to the hotel and once again we were prepared to do the nasty. We skiped the shower and let me tell you it made quite a difference...a squealing good difference. Savannah, is completly over rated. Everybody there is either old and rich or a brainwashed college student that believes meat is murder and all that bullcrap. Every store is either run by hippies or excentric artsies. Everything is overpriced and it feels nothing like a southern town with good old fashioned southern hospitality...there was in fact no southern hospitality and the tea was probably not even sweet. Just sayin I dont plan on going back any time soon to downtown savanah. Back to the hotel and this time the serta grabbed me in its comforting embrace and I was lost in the abyss that is the inner recesses of my mind where all possibilities become endless. Once again I say damn serta and their comfortable foam mattress! My wife tried to take advantage of me and the mattress spoke for me and shrugged her off and rolled me over. I have no recollection of any of this and yet she was angry at me the next morning when she explained my bodies actions to me. I had no idea serta actually had mattresses that could actually take control of your bodies but this mattress had done exactly that and that is the only explanation for it, again damn serta! We checked out the next morning after some wakeup nookie of course. We ate breakfast and once again chewed our syrup( it seriously tastes good enough to deal with chewing it). We decided we did not want to go home and so we made the trek further south past where we reside to her parents house. As it turns out those two convicts that escaped form prison and killed one of their grandmothers for her car, they actually lived down the road from where her parents live. Police and Swat had checkpoints every 20 yards on the road I kid you not. They were apparently tipped off that they were headed home. Every single resident including her parents were packing some serious heat. People sitting on the front porches wielding shotguns, assault rifles, and pistols on their hips. Some were just waiting for something to pop off. It was great. They caught both of them later that evening when they got into town. They really didnt have a chance. So here I sit, typing away and hoping that this has answered the challenge from squaa quite well. I have more in store for the future for yall to enjoy, squaa I hope this satisfies your thirst for blog. My weekend was great and I am not looking forward to heading back to work. Just expect a few more blogs to be tossed your way in the near future. Always remember... This has been another moment by GodLiberator.

Uploaded 04/19/2009
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