So this is the first of my four days off from work. As recommended by Webb, I went out this morning to the local hardware giant (Canadian Tire) and bought a kite for the kid and I to pass the time with. I went all fanboy douche-y and bought the giant TIE Fighter kite, much to the pleasure of the eighteen year old dude ringing it in at the register. (Sad on both our parts, really.)

What a wonderful idea that was! No confusing set-up, no two hours of prep to get it to work...just pop open the box, insert a few plastic rod-y things, and its good to go. Sometimes the simplest things are the most rewarding, like enjoying a nice picnic or punching John Stamos in the crotch.

So, after our lunch and a little nap, we grabbed our new item and headed for the open spaces of the park just around the corner. Its been a long time since I've flown a kite (the last time I did it was adorned with the smiling face of Bucky O'Hare, so that should tell you how long its been) and I was quite rusty. I kind of threw 'er into the wind hoping that it would magically lift into the air and fly upwards.

Apparently they don't work that way. I re-wound the string I'd let out from the cheap plastic handle-y thing and tried another approach. I scooped up the gal, and in my left held the kite above my head and did a sad little run/skip thing to get some speed going. (You try running with a 30 pound kid in your one arm...fucking difficult.) As sad as this sight may have looked to anyone watching, it worked. The air caught the kite at the right angles and lifted it upward. I stopped in my tracks, set the kid down and feverishly let out line to let it fly a little higher. Not too bad for a rank amature. Plus, there's something really rewarding about watching the backbone of the Imperial Fleet fly kick-ass high in the air. Twin-Ion-Engines a'hoy! (Told ya I went all loser fanboy...)

We flew the thing as-is for a bit, letting the girl hold the handle and let it pitch from side to side in her grasp. She loved it for about five minutes until a stray weed caught her attention and she started pulling at it. I figured it was time to do some fancy-dancy kite work to keep her interests. Remembering what I'd seen of people flying kites on TV, I then pulled the strings left-most and right-most, making the kite swing wildly left or right in the air. I let out the maximum amount of string I could, and the son of a bitch flew to an amazing height. This held her interests a little more...or at least until she found a nice smooth rock to try and put in her mouth. I figured enough was enough and started to bring the fucker back down to be packed away.

I have no idea how one brings a kite back to earth gently. I started rolling the string back over the handles quickly, causing it to pitch wildly in the air. I tried to compensate by rolling with or against it, but it didn't work. The thing arched, rolled, and did a nosedive straight into the ground infront of one very displeased  looking old man walking the field. I grabbed the kid and started walking to the downed kite, rolling the string as we went.

To celebrate our conquest over thin plastic, cheap boxstring and a medium force breeze, we had a victory-dance ice cream at the Dailry Queen....which cost more than the kite did, by the way. After our stomach churning bowls of softserve we headed back home to start making supper and watch a few shows. All in all, a good day.

Seeing as Webb's idea was a stellar one, who wants to plan for me my next outing  tomorrow?? I need ideas people---fast! I've got three more days of shit to plan, so get your thinking caps on and start doing my work for me!

Thanks for reading,

-The Big Bad