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Does this count as a handjob?

Okay guys, well I'm sure that you are all aware of my previous incident involving my first kiss and whatnot. Well, it appears that I have struck gold this week with the opposite sex as now I received a handjob ... well, I'm not sure if it actually constitutes as a handjob but give this a listen (or a read, considering that we are on the Internet and you cannot merely "listen" to words being typed on a computer screen).

Yesterday, I was preparing myself for my exam when a rather attractive girl approached me, inquiring whether I had a pencil in my possession or not. Being the well-prepared intellect that I actually am, I willingly pulled out my Hello Kitty (it was a gift from my grandmother) pencil case and whipped out a freshly sharpened pencil. I gave her the pencil but I demanded that she must return the pencil after the exam or else I will tattle to my professor, ultimately affecting her academic career at the university.

After the exam, in which I breezed through, she reluctantly returned to my desk and handed back my pencil. I thanked her for her moral responsibility and sprinted to the bathroom with the pencil clenched in my hand. I found a vacant stall and waltzed into it while pulling down my pants and revealing my blood filled veiny penis. I rubbed the pencil on my penis, simulating a handjob; I was able to do so because she touched the pencil with her very own hands and therefore her dead skins cells and various microorganisms enveloped the pencil. While I furiously rubbed the pencil on my penis, I eventually came all over the stall, splashing milky white puddles all over the toilet and some managed to slip into the toilet paper dispenser! 

I zipped up my pants and casually walked out of the stall - I proceeded to wash my hands thoroughly (in case an ugly girl touches my hand, fingers herself, and projects a sperm cell into one of her eggs) and left the bathroom. Did this count as a handjob? Her cells and germs were all over the pencil and I did not touch my penis with my hands (if that was the case, that would be masturbation). I received a handjob, right? Please submit your comments in the section below and have a nice day. 

 
andrewryan69
andrewryan69
Uploaded 11/16/2011
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