Okay lets talk about pervs. If you are a perv...don't be alarmed because I'm not here to bash you. Unless you are as what I am about to describe. I personally think that BOTH men and women can indeed be pervs. Notice I said Men and Women....I fully believe there's a different species of people like Devan B,Bobbi B, Amanda G and Michelle C - NONE are on my friends list... and I am contacting NASA to make my claim. (Deleted one today so I'm turning her over to NASA, they'll figure it out. So if I stop blogging....it's cuz I just became rich from selling their stupidity to science.) Anyways back to regularly scheduled programming....Pervs. There are different kind of perv's. You got the closet pervs which totally gross me out. You know....the nasty ole men that use it as humor.And no matter where they are in life....they always smell like stale beer. Yuck. Or how about the guy you see across the room and he smiles at you...you sigh and think to yourself that he would be okay to sit by until he speaks. Then all of a sudden you feel like you're in a bad afterschool special. WTH!!!! Looks only get you so far. Of course there's the internet pervs. YOU should be SHOT! There is officially NOTHING I haven't heard but when I start insulting you...(which says alot because I usually just ignore you) and you take FOREVER to respond because you are GOOGLING insults back at me...by that point...I am annoyed and no longer want to make fun of you. Examine your life. WTF happened to skills? WTF happened to just being respectful? Do you really think it is OKAY to just private message a woman who by the way does NOT have a pic on her profile and ask her to meet up so you can see the goods. :| Just because I am online does NOT mean I do not have standards. My standards are high....VERY high. You do not qualify, trust me. Trolling on the net because you have to crawl up a chickens ass and wait to get laid does NOT appeal to me, I am sorry. If you get kicked out of the self help rooms because you're too stupid to acknowledge that it doesn't mean HELP YOURSELF to anyone you want.....you're an internet perv. Now...ladies....you are just as bad. You know it is different if women do what men do. We can't just blurt out crap that they do because if we do....we get labeled instantly. Want a nickname and feel like you belong? Start cussing like a sailor. Okay so theres this chick I know...lets call her "Betty". Betty clearly has no morals. Due to ME having to sit next to her....I am guilty by association. God apparently has a kickass sense of humor because her breath stunk too. Still wont offer gum,though. Betty has annoying voice...ugly face but puts out for just about anyone. She is just as guilty. This is why the circle of el disgustos still exist. For those of you that know me very well KNOW that I have no problems telling people what I think, how I feel and what they need to do to NOT annoy me. So women that think selling your butt online .....NO! That is NOT attractive!!! You in that case have just lost four myspace points and gained a Facebook point. You should be so proud. Women that bitch about the messages they get and pretend to be annoyed with them irritate me. Then maybe save some of the world wide web memory and TAKE SOME OF YOUR PIX OFF YOUR PAGE! Seriously...if ya pose in practically nothing..it wont be your IQ they appreciate. I dont even think a sense of humor could help ya out. And it won't do ANY good to change your pic to something you stole from animal planet website....they will still hit on you. And if it takes you AN HOUR to get a pose right in the mirror...your computer has went to sleep mode...you've neglected your texting buddies as you are pissed you have to keep clearing it out to take this forever picture...probably not worth it. It is NOT cute that women make "jokes" about wanting to have sex with another man in the group. All ya pretty much did was translate that to ..."Just nod and keep smiling, we'll tell everyone it is a rumor" Seriously. Lame. And yet my favorite...which are the girls I named above....the pot calling the kettle black! They complain about girls who are EXACTLY like them. (And NO I am not one of them...so save your arthritis and carpel tunnel and dont type that). It's as if there aren't enough nasties in the world for them to consume. Pretty bad when you meet someone and you have to pull out your Handy Dandy notebook to make sure that person hasn't slept with anyone on your list so you dont pay out the ass in doctor bills. (Why I dont date dudes from Fremont. Sorry no offense.) ANYWAYS...there is of course healthy pervness. And take notes! Dont be a douche....lines like..."Are your legs tired? Cuz they been runnin around in my mind all day" You will be sued by Will Smith from Fresh Prince I promise. Humor is always good however, that Leslie Nielson humor is not. What you thought was funny in the third grade isn't anymore. No baby talk....it has rainbows and skittles all over it. It's gay. Dont pretend to be offended by what I say....just so you can get a compliment. You won't get one....I'm too lazy to pick up on that...I'll keep offending and not even realize it. Well...if you're confused as to what NOT to do...re-read my blog. And yes...if I hear someone bitch about pop ups on their computer...I DO assume they watch a lot of porn. Clean your cookies, genius. Those that BRAG about watching porn....you are just stupid. Bragging about what nearly everyone I know does is like asking how the weather is everyday. WE KNOW! And guys...stop complaining that your girlfriend cheated on you when you set your standards so low in the first place. Set the bar higher. You can DO it! Which reminds me...this moron at the bar for some ungodly reason decided to (after two minutes of figuring out if he can burp or not) says: "If I cant take you home to mama, Can I just take you home?" Listen asshole...Walmart is calling and asking if you still...after all this time want to keep that missing penis poster up on their entrance board or do you finally give up? You get what you give. Be creative! (That is NOT an invitation to bug me)