Fuck it, I'm doing it anyways.

For the past few weeks I've been meaning to blog here, but unfortunately for me, I haven't been able to think about anything worth writing about.  Even now, I don't really have much of a topic in mind.   However, I just feel like writing - so I am.

I guess, to a certain degree, I miss this place.  Work has been more than crazy, so I really don't have the time or ability to just sit down and focus on something else.  I've never been so stressed out in my life.   In fact, I took up smoking again - at work, and only at work.   Kinda serves two purposes, muchly needed stress relief at work (don't care what you say - it works) and I'm somewhat tricking my mind into becoming addicted to work - making it at least a little easier to get up in the morning. 

Note to all who's reading this - be careful of what you wish for.   Don't say you want something unless you know what you're asking for.    I was talking to a temp worker at work the other day who believes I do nothing but bark orders and sit on my ass.   He's the kind of guy who constantly makes mistakes (usually by cutting corners), and someone who needs someone to hold his hand through pretty much everything.  Yet, he claims to want my job.  Say's he'd rather "make the decisions".   Needing a little break myself, I was more than glad to grant him this "luxury".    I said, "Ok then! Great!  I'm going to go take this piss I've been holding for 3 hours, and when I come back let me know what you want to do about the problem rework pipe that won't scan into the system. Also, let me know what Dylan says about the change over... maybe he finally knows what they'll be taking next.    We need a spot for this lift we're working on, and hopefully we can find a spot for it before it's finished.   Make sure the table doesn't fill up, and that S17 doesn't go completely empty.   You got all that?  I'll be back in 5 minutes."
"Well.... I don't really know it from the driver's perspective".
"And you think I do?  When Mark quit, I was left here on my own with no help until they hired you.  I've been rolling with the punches ever since.  I'll throw you to the lions just as quick as they did to me.  You still want my job, or would you rather just wait until someone tells you what you need to do? Just finish your snack and wait until something needs to be scanned."

And that was on a slow day.

This kinda turned into a bit of a rant, and I'm sorry.   It just helps to write shit down and read it back to yourself.  Somehow it creates a divider in between "current problem" and "past experience".   Maybe that's why I've been wanting to write something all this time. 

I could also use some advice.   I'm still considered new on the job, but it's very fast paced, stressful, there's many decisions to make, and a lot riding on my solutions.  I'm doing my best, but sometimes it's not good enough.  Meanwhile everything is constantly changing, and I'm expected to make steady improvements.  This is in no way the kind of job where you "put in your hours, and go home", or "put your head down, do what you're told, and go home".   I'm always under a lot of pressure, and I could really use a few pointers from those of you who also work in a hectic environment.  

Thanks for reading, and any well intended advice you can offer,

- Tyaeda
(the girl I wish I could be more often.)

Uploaded 11/27/2011
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